Why the Hurry?

We are indulging in an early lunch today after having a late breakfast. I would say it is due to growth spurts but I'm not sure. Unfortunately mine tend to be outward rather than upward so I am hoping that isn't the case for Mama! :P

As I went towards the kitchen to fix lunch LadyBug frantically called, "Wait, wait! Mama look at my picture!" She had worked so hard to color a kitty in a coloring book. The head was royal blue and the body orange while it sported a jaunty red bow. (Just so you Auburn fans know it...there was some Crimson Tide thrown in there, ha!) I praised her for staying in the lines while in my head I thought of how an adult would have had to made it look more real. Have you noticed that about children? The majority of young children never color a picture to look real. They use different colors all over. FlowerChild used to color pictures of people and animals with a pattern of up to 8 colors at a time! Have you ever seen a plaid horse? How about a striped human? In her world it was perfect!

Well, it got me to thinking why do so many parents feel this need to force children to "get real" and grow up so fast? Why the pressure? A child isn't a bucket that you try to fill up as fast as you can so you can be through with the job. They are little sponges and soak up what you offer them.

Yet some people insist on trying to stuff information into them at an alarming rate thinking it somehow makes them more intelligent. Given time and attention each child will live out their potential in their time frame and their own way. That means that some may read at 4 and some may read at 7. But when they are 20 it really won't matter! What will matter, however, is how they were made to feel at those young ages. If the 4 year old is taught that they are better due to this ability they may gain a false sense of superiority. When another task comes along that doesn't come so easily they may also feel more insecure than others, thinking they don't measure up now. If the 7 year old is made to feel that they are behind because their reading skills haven't caught up yet they may spend their entire life thinking they are just not as smart as everyone else. Either way the pressure to live up to this imaginary standard becomes a part of who they are and they will go through life never feeling they have reached it.

It isn't just in the learning realm either. Have you noticed TV lately? The teenagers are watching shows about 20 somethings and their romantic lives. The elementary age are watching shows about high school and all its drama. Little girls are encouraged to dress like adults in immodest clothing. A child dressing as a child runs the risk of ridicule. They are taught that they must grow up to measure up.

Slow down! Let your child be a child! Turn off the TV shows that are too old for them anyway. Just because they are on Disney or Family doesn't mean they are ok for your child! Even some of the so-called children's shows we have deemed inappropriate at our house because the talk is so smartalecky and sarcastic. Children go through enough attitudes on their own without getting help from TV.

Stop pressuring them to take in everything all at once. It really is ok if your 5 year old doesn't write in cursive even if the curriculum says they should. I promise you if you back off and try again later they will be ready.

I'm not talking about not allowing your child to grow up. Some parents are over-protective and try to do everything for their child. Rather I am talking about not forcing them to grow up too fast and act out in ways beyond their years. Enjoy today with your child. Enjoy them for who they are TODAY. If you concentrate on that you won't have to worry so much on who they will be tomorrow. Blessings!