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Modesty

There is a topic that has been discussed quite frequently lately among the Christian blogs. Modesty. Now like everything else today the word modesty no longer has a clear meaning. Years ago it was easy to see what was modest clothing or not. But as time passed it somehow became the norm to show a little more skin or a few more curves. Women wore their skirts a little shorter, their blouses dipped a little lower and everything fit a little tighter. Now when someone says "modest clothes" it could mean anything from poor clothes to a cape dress. Many women don't realize it applies to them.

Some women have been convicted to change the way they dress. Some are convicted to wear skirts/dresses only while others feel more modest dressed in jeans or slacks. I think the important thing is to seek God's leading on how you dress. Often times women just go with what is in style or what they have always worn. They forget to ask the Lord what He thinks. One thing is for sure. If you are dressing to attract men's attention then you probably haven't surrendered to God's authority in this area of your life!


Many young women think it is a good thing to turn as many heads as possible with their looks and outfits. We've all probably seen the girl with her short shorts and tank top with a store- bought tan sashaying through the parking lot as guys turn to look. But women need to realize what is probably going on in the minds of some of these guys who are looking.

Let me share an example with you. A few weeks ago we ate at a restaurant before heading over to buy groceries. The restaurant was filled with all kinds. A few families, friends sharing some time over lunch, and many career people. At the table beside us was an absolutely beautiful young woman and two men in suits. She was very tall and had on spiked heels and a very short black dress which was obviously quite expensive. The FisherMan had a direct view of their table while I had my back to them. I noticed he was watching them closely and when the young woman excused herself from the table, my hubby was obviously listening to the men's conversation! But I didn't give it too much thought as we had the children and we were both busy feeding them, etc.

However after they left I found out why it had captured his attention. He said, "That poor girl," shaking his head. "She thinks she is moving up in the company and it's all business. She has no idea what those guys were saying while she was gone."

"What did they say?" I asked.

"All they could talk about were her legs in that dress and....well...what they would like to do."

Now, y'all, I kid you not. If I had been paying attention and heard it myself I would have gone and pulled her aside to tell her. Maybe she wouldn't even care. Maybe that was what she was hoping for. But maybe not. Maybe she really thinks those skuzballs respect her. We'll never know. But I seriously doubt she got up that morning and asked the Lord's opinion when she went to the closet.

So I guess you can tell this isn't one of those posts that is going to throw some scriptures at you to scream, "See! This proves women should only wear dresses!" It's not my job to play Holy Spirit and thrust conviction on anyone. Rather I would urge you to go to God with an open heart and simply ask Him to show you what will please Him. It's a heart issue not a seamstress issue!

I will say this.

1. I am raising my girls to go to their Daddy for his opinion when they get dressed. I think the ideal is, if you are a young girl still at home, you should respect your father's opinion on this matter. After all, who better to recognize how a guy will react to your outfit than a guy? I understand that not every home is blessed with a father who will take on this leadership role so that is why I say that is the ideal. If you are married, find out how your husband likes to see you dressed. Once again, the ideal would be that he is a Christian man who will have your best interest at heart. Some men like a softer look, some like a sportier look. Either way he will know how a man will perceive you.

2. Regardless of whether it is a skirt or pants, dress in a way that makes you feel like a gentle, feminine, and modest woman. I have known soft spoken, wonderful LADIES who always wear jeans and probably never even owned a dress. I have known some downright mean, catty women who always wear dresses.

I guess it is only fair after reading this that you might wonder how I dress. Well, I wear what I have! But seriously if I had to say a certain style....I like a classic, simple look with long skirts/tops or long dresses. But I also love jeans with boots, although my boots "died" and now I don't have any to wear! I also have some capris. So, no, I am not dresses only although I don't have anything against someone who is. I think you can still look like a woman and act like a lady even in jeans. Of course, I also live a country life!

Is the matter settled? Will I always feel this way? Hopefully my opinion will always depend on the good work that Christ is doing in me. If the Holy Spirit begins to lay conviction on my heart then my prayer is that I will yield to that conviction and change. Have you examined this area of your life? Is there anything you need to talk over with the Father?
Blessings to you as you seek Him!

Comments

  1. Tht was a really good post! Women really don't get it. They think the guys love their clothes, but all the guys are thinking when a woman is dressed immodestly is, "I'd like to get her!" We give off signals we don't realize we are giving off!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mary,
    Thank you! That is a good point about the signals we give off. Sometimes girls think they are just innocently flirting but some guys may look at it as leading them on. Poor clothing choices can "advertise" something that the girl doesn't even realize. It's also important to teach our girls how TO dress and our boys to appreciate a girl who chooses to dress modestly.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is a perfect article, covering the good reasons for modesty and the excuses people make. I would love to add the link to this and the above article, to my article called "Protecting Our Daughters." It shows also that people who write about this sort of thing are not just some lone nuts out there making up stories. What is going on is just terrible, especially to the older ones who lived during a time when it was considered riske to show anything above the knee or een go sleeveless.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lady Lydia,
    Welcome! Please feel free to link to any of the articles you see fit. It is a sinful world we live in and many women have grown complacent, not recognizing the danger of "fitting in." Blessings to you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thank you for this great article. Its a shame that women dont care about modesty enough.
    in my search for modest clothing, i came across a site that sells layering tops. i use the layering tops with any of the more revealing tops i own as to make them more modest and cover up the skin i dont want to show. check it out, its really practical
    http://www.koshercasual.com/women-s-modest-clothing-c24/women-s-tops-s28/women-s-layer-tops-s61/
    take note of the really flattering knee length skirts they have as well.
    Jane

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jane,
    Welcome! Thank you so much for your comment! Have you noticed that you pretty much have to look online to find attractive modest clothing anymore? It is so hard to find anything in the stores. Thank you for the website recommendation. I will check that site out. Blessings to you!

    ReplyDelete

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