My Peacefully Chaotic Life

Abigail Hope was born at 2:30 this afternoon. Thank you everyone for your prayers for us. I can truly say I felt the presence of the Lord with me the entire time. Later I hope I can share with you all the little ways that God expressed Himself in this difficult time. Edited to add: I forgot to tell you but her name means "my father's joy and hope"

Following my doctor visit last week this song just kept running through my mind. Since then I find myself returning to it and singing it, sometimes aloud, sometimes in prayer, and sometimes in my heart. I believe God gave it to me to comfort and strengthen me during this loss. Praise You in This Storm words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say amen and it's still raining as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you" and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away. Chorus: And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm I remember when ...

Yesterday I went to my regular doctor's appt. They could not find the baby's heartbeat. Ultrasound showed that for reasons that are simply unknown right now, the baby has died. If I do not deliver on my own by Monday, then I will be induced. We know that God has a purpose in every life, no matter how short. Right now, there are a jumble of feelings. I'm sure the coming days will be no different. We went to my son and told him in person. He came on home as he wants to be here for all of us, particularly FlowerChild, as she leans on him so much. We haven't told the girls yet as we just aren't sure how to handle that at this point. Today in the South the snow is falling and they feel like it is Christmas. I would rather let them have that and watch their delight as they play. It's not important when they find out so much as it is that I find the right way to tell them. I will probably come at it from the direction of a premature birth or that the baby is sick. Th...

Here is what you would find today. You would see me....well, at the moment on the computer obviously. Otherwise, I've been in the rocking chair giving reading lessons. I've also been flitting back and forth to the laundry room. You might see the children....one in my lap reading. The other two playing together, possibly quietly, possibly not. :) Right now they are finishing up a snack while they watch Letter Factory. A little young for FlowerChild since she already reads so well so she is looking through a catalogue as she eats. In the kitchen...I cooked a chicken in the crockpot last night. It smells so good in there! I am going to make chicken and dumplins for supper. We are...mostly still in our jammies. It is cold and rainy and there is just something comfy about staying in them. I say mostly because LadyBug has dressed herself in a bright red shirt and a fuchsia plaid skirt. And now...they are finished with their snack and movie. I am going to put in a reading computer gam...

We lucked out last month on our power bill. We received a credit on our bill which helped tremendously. A lot of folks were shocked at how high their bills were, however. I can't blame them! Some of the figures I heard were outrageous! $500-600, one even $1200! One thing that got me was that many of these people work outside the home and their children are in school or daycare so the house stands empty all day. Not only that, but their families are much smaller so things like the washer, dryer, or stove would not be used as frequently. Shouldn't their bill be lower than ours? I think it has everyone trying to come up with ways to save on power. There are some things that are a given. Good insulation and windows go a long way towards helping lower a bill. When we first moved into our home the windows were very old. Some were cracked or even broken. The church eventually replaced them which was a huge blessing! But what were we to do in the meantime? Well, one way is to buy th...

I know. I have been neglecting this blog. Horribly. That's not the only thing that has been thrown by the wayside lately! It is only for a season though. Pregnancy means you must be patient with yourself and accept that sometimes you must let things slide. That also means that you have to plan in order to conserve your energy. I know if I am going somewhere later today then I don't need to rush around and try to get a lot done in the morning. Priorities must be in order. Although the morning sickness is better it isn't totally gone at this point. Whoever named it that anyway? The main thing I have been dealing with is fatigue. My blog shows it. My laundry shows it. My house shows it. Ack, everywhere shows it! I simply do not have the energy to do the bending up and down required to truly clean up, do laundry, and the vacuuming/sweeping etc. It's quite depressing actually! So I do a little here, do a little there. I manage the necessities such as homeschooling, cooking, ...

Are you contented? Or do you constantly find yourself daydreaming of how much better life would be if only..... I would imagine we all do it from time to time. But I don't want to slip into making that a habit. I want to be sure that I live in constant gratitude for the blessings in my life. If I let that other kind of thinking in I'm afraid it will rob me of the satisfaction found in today. I'm sure you've seen people who spend months or years saying if I just had THIS, if I just lived HERE, if only this person would just do THAT.....life would be grand. Then when they get it they are miserable! Ha, the next thing you know, they are dreaming of what they had in the first place! A single person just wants to be married. Then when their spouse is not the picture of perfection they dreamed of, they think only of being single again. Childless couples dream of having their own brood. Then when they get it, they wish the kids would grow up and move out. The city folk wish th...