My Peacefully Chaotic Life

I mentioned on my last post that I didn't want anyone to misunderstand my absence from blogging. I did not want it to appear that my faith in God has been shaken. No, if anything, it is stronger than ever because He has held me up through all of the trials! But I have also worried a bit over another possible misconception. I don't want anyone to have this picture in their minds that my life has been shattered and that the miscarriage is all I think of....that it CONSUMES me. I guess deep down I feel as though if it reached this point that it would be also be a sign of dwindling faith or the questioning of God on my part. But there are things about it that I want to share. While it is always with me, time really does help. In the first days following a miscarriage it is more in the forefront of your mind and heart. But when you are blessed as I am with other responsibilities and concerns, you simply MUST forge ahead. I have a husband who is also grieving. It would not help ...

Hello to all my bloggy friends! I want to thank all of you that have faithfully checked in here for posts and continued to follow. Writing of any sort, even if it's just a little post about your day or your schedule, opens you up and exposes you. When facing trials and grief and I tend to withdraw and close myself off somewhat. I think with everything that has happened I needed a bit of a blog break. But I have really missed it. I think my biggest concern about not blogging was how people that do not know me in real life or perhaps know me and do not see me on a regular basis might perceive my absence. While losing Abigail was certainly a hard hit I don't want anyone to think that it has shaken my faith. Some bloggers like to write only about certain things such as a cooking blog, a Bible study blog, homemaking blog, etc. Well, my approach is a mish--mash of everything in my life. In the course of that, I hope to weave a picture of my walk with the Lord. I would not want my s...

The following was written the week after Abigail Hope was delivered. Well, this week has been a rough one. But, I am here and I can still manage a smile. I'll go ahead and apologize for a long post. I wanted to share Abigail's birth with any of you that might like to read it. Also I thought it might be a story that could help someone else who finds themselves in this situation. It is devastating to go in for a doctor's appt. only to be told there is no heartbeat. That is exactly what happened to us Thursday of last week. I had been through a miscarriage before and never wanted to face that again. In that pregnancy, the baby never developed properly. I had some female problems during that time that made it hard to pinpoint how far along I should have been. But it finally became apparent that something was very wrong. After many weeks I miscarried at home. Since then I have never taken a pregnancy for granted, assuming that it would turn out fine. Faith, yes. Assumptions,...

In order to fully appreciate this you have to imagine this conversation with the cutest little 5 year old Southern accent. LadyBug: Hey, Mama, you know what's gross? Mama: What? LadyBug: Pickle pie. Yeah, that is pretty gross. But my guess is there is some great cook out there that could actually make it good! I think we'll stick to the store bought no-bake cheesecake I have planned for dessert tonight LOL!

Sorry I haven't been around so much lately. It isn't that I haven't had anything to blog. I had plenty of posts in my head. But there's been so much happening here. The process of sitting down and getting complete, coherent thoughts typed out was just too much to deal with! When I came home from the hospital we immediately launched into the swine flu with all three younger children. I'm still not sure where they wound up with it. My suspicion is that they picked it up when we were in the doctor's office the previous week with Cornbread. He was diagnosed with pre asthma. Those were some tiring days as I already blogged about. I had a very rough time recovering physically. Then I broke/dislocated my toe. Normally a little funny if it is only a slight break but not when you're already in pain! I feel like I am forgetting some other trial that was thrown in there but with our latest it really isn't any wonder. We had quite the scare with LadyBug last wee...

I was doing a little visiting on different blogs tonight and several mentioned cooking. I am still recovering and still finding it hard to be on my feet very much. Naturally I have my ups and downs as I deal with the aftermath of everything that has happened. I am finding that having to wait on my physical recovery is not helping in other areas. My natural tendency when things feel out of control or I am upset on the inside is to try to restore order on the outside. It feels good to see order emerge from chaos, the house start to feel like a home, a nice meal come together. Right now I am having to be patient! Well, anyway...I was visiting over at my bloggy friend's Mrs. B's, and she was talking about menus. She mentioned being in S. Texas and how ball season would be starting up soon. Y'all....I was immediately taken back years and years.... I literally LOL!! See back when my husband and I were first married he worked construction at the oil refineries and we were in Texa...

Do your pets love you? I have a cat that has been with us for 15 years now. She loves us so much that she tries to run out the door any chance she gets lol. Well, yesterday she was successful and made it out the door. I tried to get her but she managed to stay two steps ahead of me, just out of reach, and finally slipped into the underbrush of the woods. I took a look at the thick leaves on the ground, thought of the mild temperatures we had the last couple of days, the critters, slithery in particular, and I thought, "Oh, well, Tinkerbell you are on your own!" Later I went out and hollered, "kitty, kitty" like crazy but was met with nothing but the barking of the neighbor's dogs. Does anyone else feel a little foolish when having to do that? "Heeere Kitty Kitty!!!" at the top of your lungs. Silence. I felt so silly wandering around in the dark calling for this cat! One time our other cat went missing for almost a week and we kept doing that only to ...