My Peacefully Chaotic Life

Hello to all my bloggy friends! I want to thank all of you that have faithfully checked in here for posts and continued to follow. Writing of any sort, even if it's just a little post about your day or your schedule, opens you up and exposes you. When facing trials and grief and I tend to withdraw and close myself off somewhat. I think with everything that has happened I needed a bit of a blog break. But I have really missed it. I think my biggest concern about not blogging was how people that do not know me in real life or perhaps know me and do not see me on a regular basis might perceive my absence. While losing Abigail was certainly a hard hit I don't want anyone to think that it has shaken my faith. Some bloggers like to write only about certain things such as a cooking blog, a Bible study blog, homemaking blog, etc. Well, my approach is a mish--mash of everything in my life. In the course of that, I hope to weave a picture of my walk with the Lord. I would not want my s...

The following was written the week after Abigail Hope was delivered. Well, this week has been a rough one. But, I am here and I can still manage a smile. I'll go ahead and apologize for a long post. I wanted to share Abigail's birth with any of you that might like to read it. Also I thought it might be a story that could help someone else who finds themselves in this situation. It is devastating to go in for a doctor's appt. only to be told there is no heartbeat. That is exactly what happened to us Thursday of last week. I had been through a miscarriage before and never wanted to face that again. In that pregnancy, the baby never developed properly. I had some female problems during that time that made it hard to pinpoint how far along I should have been. But it finally became apparent that something was very wrong. After many weeks I miscarried at home. Since then I have never taken a pregnancy for granted, assuming that it would turn out fine. Faith, yes. Assumptions,...

Yesterday I went to my regular doctor's appt. They could not find the baby's heartbeat. Ultrasound showed that for reasons that are simply unknown right now, the baby has died. If I do not deliver on my own by Monday, then I will be induced. We know that God has a purpose in every life, no matter how short. Right now, there are a jumble of feelings. I'm sure the coming days will be no different. We went to my son and told him in person. He came on home as he wants to be here for all of us, particularly FlowerChild, as she leans on him so much. We haven't told the girls yet as we just aren't sure how to handle that at this point. Today in the South the snow is falling and they feel like it is Christmas. I would rather let them have that and watch their delight as they play. It's not important when they find out so much as it is that I find the right way to tell them. I will probably come at it from the direction of a premature birth or that the baby is sick. Th...