My Peacefully Chaotic Life

What's For Supper, Mama?

2012-01-31T18:37:00.000-06:00

It has been a long time since I posted a menu! I've been making a conscious effort to improve our eating habits and so far, The FisherMan seems to approve. He says he'll eat anything I cook, but all us ladies know better when our husbands say that! Every man has that limit ha ha! So here is what I've been doing this week and what I have planned for the rest of the week.

SUNDAY:

Cioppino (Italian Fish Stew)

MONDAY:

Grilled Salmon
Baked Potato
Garlic Roasted Kale

TUESDAY:

Blackbean Burgers
Glazed carrots
Salad

WEDNESDAY:

Enchiladas made with chicken, beans and spinach
Garlic Pita Chips
Salsa

THURSDAY:

Venison Steak Tips with peppers and onions
Rice and gravy
Fresh Peas
Cornbread

FRIDAY:

Blackbean and Lentil Mexican Casserole

SATURDAY:

Lentil and kale soup

LUNCHES: Homemade pizza, chicken casserole, tuna salad, homemade chicken noodle, leftovers
SNACKS: Assortment of fruits (Golden Delicious Apples, Blood Oranges, Bananas)Yogurt, Crackers and Cheese, Sweet Chili flavored Rice Chips
SWEETS: 100 Calorie brownie bites, WhoNu oreo style cookies, Fruit Gummies and I have a new recipe from Pinterest I want to try for healthy Chocolate Chip Cookies. They are made from chickpeas!

Time For A Change

2012-01-07T18:46:00.000-06:00

Well, it's that time of year again! New Year's resolutions and good intentions on steroids. While most are making plans to improve some area of their life and just hoping for the best, we have been busy at our house!

For quite a while now, I have struggled with keeping up with clutter. Some might think, hey, you're home all day, what's the problem? Therein lies the problem. I am home all day! Along with a 9 yr old, a 7 yr old, and a 3 yr old. Not to mention, the husband who is right next door at work and pops in and out at varying times. When you throw in books, paper, projects and all those enriching activities that fill a day...well, it tends to fill your home.

After Christmas (which was lovely, by the way), I looked around at the piles of gifts, dishes and paper and groaned. It didn't help when a couple of days later the tree toppled over. Oh, what a beautiful mess!

My children do pretty well about cleaning up as long as it hasn't turned into a chaotic mess. But when it reaches that point, they simply do not know where to start. I found my attitude turning sour way too often as I felt as though I was doing the same chores over and over. I felt overworked and under appreciated, even though I knew I wasn't. Feelings! Can't trust them, you must trust what you KNOW! So, what to do?

My children love going to the library and are very careful about keeping up with their books. I thought, "Why not apply the same principle to our home?" I've been cleaning out the hall linen closet and have converted it to the Toy Library. All toys (except for a few 'lovies' and special toys) and games are in the closet. Children must go through Mama to check out an item. When they do check it out, I have a pad that I write down their name, the date, the time, and the item. When they clean it up and return it, it is checked off. Although I am not quite finished, it has already eliminated so much chaos! When something is out, I know who left it there. The children know they are responsible for what they take out. They are enjoying the fact that there is so little to pick up at any given time. When they already had things strewn, I wouldn't allow them to take out games. Needless to say, we've been playing games this week!

I also am working on the schoolroom. It wasn't working as a playroom/schoolroom. (See above!) I have cleaned out a cabinet that used to house games and now it holds all the videos and art supplies. I plan to utilize the same approach as the Toy Library.

I've moved the children's bookshelf to the living room so they can more readily access the books at any time. All of this is really opening up the schoolroom. I am excited to have space for more visual aids and to house all of our school things in one room, instead of various shelves and cabinets throughout the house..

In the meantime, I've also done a little rearranging and decorating in the house. I hope to finish everything over the next couple of weeks and share a home tour. I can't wait to complete this project and start reaping the benefits of peace! :)

Thanksgiving Catch Up

2011-12-03T13:48:00.000-06:00

How was your Thanksgiving? Ours was very good. My oldest son was able to come home. We were afraid this might be the first Thanksgiving he wasn't with us but he was able to arrange his schedule to make it home. His band was away shooting a music video. What might have taken all week, they managed to do in one full day! He headed homeWednesday and stayed until Sunday.

My guys were able to do quite a lot of hunting over the holiday. They both love to fish and hunt. We've been very blessed that our last home and this one, there are several places for them to enjoy the outdoors. We love deer meat. It is healthy and really helps to stretch the budget. When prepared correctly you might even think it is beef!

The kids and I got a little creative with our vegetables on Thanksgiving day and created a fun centerpiece. My youngest named it Pluto. ;)

Since I had a smoked turkey and a brown sugar ham, we opted for sandwiches for lunch and ate our Thanksgiving Dinner for supper that night. I fixed dressing with gravy, cranberry sauce, fresh snap beans, sweet potato casserole, homemade macaroni and cheese, and collard greens. Dessert was pumpkin cheesecake (a paula deen recipe...it was ok), sugar free lemon pie, chocolate pie, and apple pie. All homemade!

I noticed Wednesday that the palm of the left hand at the base of my thumb was sore and tender as though I had scalded it. I thought perhaps I had and just hadn't noticed it. But by Thursday my hand and my arm all the way to the shoulder hurt to the touch. Friday when I got up I felt awful as though I had the flu. Sore and achey all over, headache, soooo tired. This went on through the weekend. Then I began breaking out on my arm. Have you guessed what it was?

Shingles!

Talk about miserable! I had no idea that you could even get them when you were younger. Not only that, I thought it was only on your beltline or on your face. Not so.

I've always heard about the pain associated with shingles. I assumed it was the rash that hurt. But the problem stems from nerve pain because the virus travels along a nerve. I am taking antivirals and pain medication. I hope this is a shortlived experience and there are no residual effects!

Home Sweet Quiet Home

2011-11-15T09:31:00.000-06:00

This week we have been enjoying a business trip that has us staying in the Atlanta area. Coming through Atlanta was absolutely crazy! The place we are staying is actually considered a suburb. You can't tell though because you never knew when you left Atlanta itself! Our hotel is very nice and that is always a plus. I had hoped we could sneak in a field trip of sorts but there really isn't anything close enough. There is a lot of shopping here though and our family enjoyed seeing the large malls and letting the kids ride the train and carousel.

Wow, what a difference from any of the places we ever called home! Even the place we used to consider the big city is really nothing more than a town in comparison.
Before we moved to our current home, we lived in a very rural area. Snakes and coyotes were a constant in life, traffic and people were not ha ha! But I loved my quiet life. It was peaceful. Peace was welcomed anyway we could get it during the stress of the last couple of years there! One of my favorite places was at the top of the hill behind our church. Each day the sunrise and the sunset engaged in a rival of beauty. The downside of living in such a rural area is, of course, that when you need ANYTHING it requires either a trip to a small grocery where prices are sky high (double to triple the normal price) or eating up time to travel to a larger town where there are more choices. There are no city sports for the children and no malls for the teenagers. The hangout there was literally the carwash.

So it was nice when we moved to a little bigger place. We have several grocery stores and a walmart along with several different types of dollar stores and drugstores. We also have a choice of restaurants. Our house is just a few miles from town and while we are in a neighborhood, it is still quieter than town. However, not having to worry over wild critters has also been good. ;) The girls can take dance now and play sports right in their own hometown. FlowerChild's soccer team even won the city championship!

Then we come to Atlanta! It has me contemplating how grateful I am to live in a smaller town. I know some people absolutely thrive on the frenzied pace of life that a big city offers. I am not one of them though! I can not imagine having to face the crush of activity and stress it requires, just to run a simple errand or have a family outing.

Although this has been a nice trip, I am looking forward to getting back to my quiet home. My little yappy dogs that drive me crazy will be excited to have their children back to play. My kitties will be happy to have a lap back to lay in. I look forward to cooking instead of eating out. I look forward to my children playing outside. Their favorite spot is under a big pecan tree they have nicknamed "Big Mama" and they call it their bakery.

Yes, we lead a simple life but I love it. I love having our little routines. I love home. :)

Christmas Shoeboxes

2011-11-12T21:49:00.000-06:00

Are you familiar with Samaritan's Purse Ministries? Maybe you've heard of their ministry, Operation Christmas Child where you pack a shoebox with goodies of all kinds and it is sent to needy children around the world.

This year my girls wanted to do something in honor of their baby sister, Abigail, who is in heaven. I suggested they pack a shoebox. These girls have been so excited. They chose just the right wapped box from our church windows (the one with disney princess wrapping paper). They chose just the right knitted cap from the Christmas tree in our sanctuary. ( we have a member known as "the knitting lady" who makes dozens of caps and hangs them on a tree to be included in the boxes). They plotted and planned for what they might like to include.

While we did buy about a dozen items from the dollar store, we went elsewhere also in order to buy some nicer toys. The cheaper ones do not last and we wanted her to have something nice. I would rather fill one shoebox with some quality things rather than several boxes with cheap quality items that will just break.

Here is a link to the page that has several videos that show the impact of this ministry.

Furry Family

2011-11-11T07:49:00.000-06:00

yes, she is as tall as a water bottle!

Artist at Work

2011-11-10T22:16:00.020-06:00

It's been a lovely week here. The weather has been absolutely perfect, not too hot, not too cold. The leaves are changing with colors so vivid that I almost can't take it all in! I mean, have you just stopped to admire the beauty lately? The sunsets this week have been breathtaking! God's amazing artwork is at its finest in autumn, don't you think?

Yesterday afternoon the children played outside, busily piling up leaves and jumping in them, only to do it all over again. Today the weather suddenly took a turn and temperatures plummeted with freezing temperatures expected tonight. I went out and cut armloads of camellia blooms to decorate the house with. With their delicate pale blooms, I wasn't sure how well they would stand up to the freeze and I wanted an excuse to bring their beauty indoors!

Now I sit here curled up in the recliner with my cat, Tiger, trying to get warm by the fireplace. He has a hard time staying warm now that he is older (almost 16 years) and he adores the fireplace. If he doesn't have a lap to climb into (he can't jump up anymore) then he gets just as close to the fire as he can. It's so cozy to have him snuggled up with a contented purr. :)

Crockpot Conspiracy Theories

2011-11-06T07:55:00.000-06:00

Did you get your extra hour of sleep? Not me, my body knows when it is time to wake up. I lay there for a moment before the alarm went off. I marveled that I had finally managed to sleep in. But when I got up and saw all the clocks said the same thing, I realized my husband had forgotten to turn the clocks back. ;)

Just as well, because I needed to get Sunday dinner started. I wanted to put the meat in the crockpot last night but it was still frozen and I wasn't so sure about that. I am hoping it will be done by the time church is over. I had originally gotten the recipe from the facebook sensation, Crockpot Girls. They are in the process of changing up their facebook site because of the whole trademark name change deal. they are Crockin girls now, I think? They have loaded a lot of the recipes on the new one, but I couldn't find the one I needed. So I thought I would google it.

I was shocked to find all these blogposts up that were criticising them and were suspicious of foul play. Over a facebook site? really? Has to be the green-eyed monster rearing its head. I mean, who cares how many likes they have?

One point that was repeatedly made was that there were no recipes. Umm, noooo, not on the wall, they are in the discussions and photo sections. Another was suspicious about bots causing the numbers to rise dramatically. And all the talk about that it can't be real people who are liking the page? I am very real. And the friends from church are very real. and the soccer moms yesterday at the tournament discussing what they were cooking from crockpot girls are real. And the folks on our town page who recommended it are real....get my drift? A lot of people just find it to be a convenient and more personal way to try out a new recipe.

Never knew something like that could cause such conspiracy theories, ha ha. Just my thoughts ;)

Shaken

2011-11-02T23:37:00.003-05:00

I had never been inside her home until the day she told me CPS had removed her children. On that day I had gone over with some clothing for her daughter. When she came to the door I rattled on about what the bags held and if she could use them. Open mouth, insert foot.

She took me in the first few rooms. My impression was that of dark rooms and general disarray, as you might find in a case of depression. The windows are busted out and they had no water. Their dog had messed in the floor and was jumping in and out of the busted windows.

I immediately told her I would help her clean, organize, repair, anything. I truly wanted to see this young woman piece her life back together. Well, of course, to her I am "the pastor's wife" and she is too embarrassed to let me see the whole picture. So I tell her that when she is finished that I will gladly do a walk through and see if there was anything obvious to be done. My work background qualifies me to be of a particular help in this area.

It's been 5 weeks. During that time they have worked very hard. Truckloads of stuff have been hauled away and thrown away, both from the yard and from inside the house. Friends have helped scrub the walls and floors, paint ceilings and repair the windows. Throughout this month I have repeatedly emphasized that the goal should be clean, shiny, smelling good, lots of light, safe, no hazards, child centered, an obvious family home. So when she asks me to walk through I am expecting a total transformation.

It isn't quite what I had hoped for. Yes, much has been done. There are now curtains on the windows, albeit mismatched. The front room is set up as a living room. There is a bedroom for the parents and a bedroom for the kids. However, open the door off the children's room and it is a dropoff of 3 feet to a dirt floor, because the floor had to be torn out. The smell in this side room of urine and feces is oppressive. Combined with the odors of cigarette smoke and old, musty wood and it is sickening. Their room, while it contains a bed with a dirty mattress, a chest of drawers, a small bookcase, and a dresser, gives no evidence of being a child's room. Well, unless you count the fact that the shelf holds some children's movies and a few small toys. No babydolls or barbies. No hotwheels or tractors. No little colorbooks or crayons. No teddybears worn out from little hands loving them. No little nightlights to chase away fears.

There is no crib set up in happy anticipation of the new addition. No clean children's clothing stacked in a basket. Nothing that would indicate children running through the house. One thing.Throughout the visit she stops to show me this little pumpkin or little ghost she had out that her son made at school. She keeps repeating how sad she is to be missing their trick-or-treating. I dont have the heart to tell her our family does not celebrate Halloween. I just listen.

When we get to the kitchen there are dirty dishes waiting to be washed. The stove has burned on black rings 2 inches out from each burner. A pot of water sits waiting for use. I mention she needs to make sure she labels her cleaning supplies and locks them up. She opens the cabinet below the sink to show me and a section of 3 doors comes off in her hands. Her face crumples like she wants to cry, then she quickly turns away as she attempts, to no avail, to prop the doors back on. The drugs she is on make it hard for her to complete a thought or comprehend when I give instructions or ask questions. But they still can't drown out the emotions of shame and discouragement she is trying so desperately to bury.

I go back home to my family and impressions wash over me. The children run to greet me as they tell me how much they missed me. A hot, home cooked supper is shared around the dining room table. Clean sweet smelling jammies, night-night prayers, crisp sheets, favorite lovies to cuddle with. Suddenly I can't stand it any longer. I feel as though I can't shake that dismal odor that still fills my nostrils. It's as though it has covered me and I can't escape it. I can't bear the thought of going in my children's bedrooms smelling this way.

When I tell my daughters I will be in to say good night in a few minutes after I bathe, they give me hugs. FlowerChild jerks away and says, " You don't smell like....you." I give a wry smile and retreat to my room. When I at last enter their bedroom, they are still awake. As I give them their goodnight hugs, my daughter gives a contented sigh. "You smell like Mama now."

___________________________________________________________________________________

This is a snippet of my day last week. I am not the type of person who is sensitive and must have everything sanitary before I enter. I've seen situations that were pure squalor. But something about this was different. The contrast between this family's home and my own just hit me so hard that it shook me up. I haven't been able to get it out of my mind and I have prayed over them constantly. How often do we really examine our lives and truly recognize God's hand over us?

We like to think that if we are not like this then it must be because of something we have done. We are somehow "better" if we don't happen to have the same type of problems. But do you know what the root of her problem was? After talking with her I am sure I know. It wasn't the drugs. It wasn't poverty. It wasn't a lack of education. It was that the circumstances in her life had left her OVERWHELMED. Have you ever felt this way? I know I have. Oh the causes may be different for each person. Responsibilities. Money trouble. Health problems. Relationships. Jobs. Grief. Loneliness.

But the feeling of lack of control is the same. Overwhelmed. Have you stopped to realize that it is only God's hand upon your life that has protected you from the storm? Just because you may not have battled debilitating depression, drug addiction, problems paying bills, children acting out, or any other myriad of problems people battle everyday, it doesn't mean you are somehow better than them. It just means that you are blessed in different ways. Honestly, I think that is why I have been so touched by this situation. I came home that night and I was overwhelmed with how blessed I really am. We all are just one event, one accident, one poor decision away from a tragic life.

If you are battling something today that is leaving you tired and ashamed I want to remind you of something. Most likely your real battle is that of being overwhelmed. But you are not the clothes you wear, the car you drive or even the one you can't afford to own. You are not your job, no matter how important or how lowly. You are not your looks or your education and you are not the roof you happen to live under. No, you are none of these things. YOU are God's creation and He has a plan for your life. Satan wants to deter you from this plan so he distracts you from it with worries and hurts of this world. Reach out to Jesus! Your life will not be magically freed from problems. You won't suddenly be exempt from circumstances you have created. But you also will not fight the battle alone! Tomorrow can be something that excites you as a new day, a fresh start, rather than something that causes you to groan, wondering what bad things it will hold. Be encouraged, friend. :)

2011-10-23T15:16:00.000-05:00

It's my husband's birthday today. We haven't done anything particularly special to celebrate but it's been a good day nonetheless. We went to church and he preached a great message on being useful and not wasting your life away.

When we came home, lunch only took a few minutes. I had already cooked lunch in the crockpot. Have you seen the crockpot girls on facebook? They have some terrific recipes.

I cooked the pork chops and gravy one except without pork chops LOL. It was SUPPOSED to use thick cut pork chops. Have you priced those? Good grief! So instead I found a family pack of country style ribs. By the time we got home from church they were perfect. Everyone liked it and the gravy was divine.

After we ate we all curled up in the living room and watched some of the Love Comes Softly movies I had taped. My little guy crawled up in my lap and promptly fell asleep. Great excuse to not get up for 2 hours!

Now we are all out back enjoying a lovely day. The FisherMan is reviewing his sermon for tonight. The children are chasing butterflies. They rescued a Monarch from the dog and Cornbread named it Jimmy. It has somehow flown away and now they wandering through the yard calling, "Jimmy! Jimmy!" As long as they're happy LOL

And on that note I must run. I've got choir practice soon. The church is planning to take the FisherMan to a nice fish camp after services tonight. Sshhhh....don't say a word, it's a surprise! ;)

Wake-up Call

2011-10-22T08:06:00.001-05:00

Around 6:00 AM this morning my little guy trudged into our room and I pulled him up in bed with us. I was greeted by ice cold legs and feet where he had kicked his covers off. As he snuggled down between us, I tried to go back to sleep, hoping to find the dream I had been in the middle of.

Which is when the Rat Terrier woke up and jumped down from the bed. Gravity doesn't work well with Pretzel when she stands up after sleeping all night so I jumped out of bed to catch her and run to the living room where I unceremoniously dumped her out the back door.
Not having much fur, she wasn't impressed.

I didn't care. I went back to bed, grateful to see my son still curled up trying to go back to sleep. I quickly slid under the covers, pulled him close, and tightly shut my eyes hoping to go back to dreamland. I didn't care what dream at this point as long as it was good.

Then Pretzel decided to remind me it is cold outside and she started up crying and barking. Sigh. I decided to try the age old remedy of pretending to not hear her. But my husband did and the next thing I knew he was throwing back the covers (he never just slides out of bed, he must THROW the covers WAYYYY back when he gets up) and was stumbling loudly through the house to let her in.

Up pops a little boy's head. I pull him down and whisper urgently to go back to sleep.

My husband lumbers back in and sinks in bed, yanking the covers up, just as wildly as he had thrown them off.

Quietness descends once again and the I hear little paws tap-tapping through the house. Suddenly Pretzel jumps up in the bed with us. "Pretzel!!" a gleeful little voice shouts. "SSHHH, it's nite-nite time," I say. (Ok, so I realize 6:30 in the morning is not exactly night but it is Saturday and it is still dark.
He wasn't fooled. He lay still for a moment and then I hear, "But my hungwy, Mama." Then quiet. I peek through half-closed eyes and see his eyes close. Oh, I couldn't be this blessed, he's going back to sleep!

No. Because a minute later the kitten jumps on the bed as well. Pretzel decided to sound the alarm, barking madly, and scrambling after her from under the covers. After it all calms down, I try vainly to yet again convince him...myself....it's time for sleep.

I hear an earnest little whisper. "Mama! My wonts a cinny pop-tot and me milk!!"
Now I wish I could say that at this point that I lovingly swept the hair from his eyes, hugged him close, and said, "Sure, my love, and while I'm at it, let's have homemade pancakes, too!" Then I would gracefully arise, don my silk robe, and go to greet the day with a smile. I would magically transform from robe to dress with perfect makeup and hair, smiling and singing as I went. Bluebirds would fly to settle upon my window sill.
Um, that would be a decided NO! Because as my precious son declared this, I knew sleep was a lost cause and I wasn't ready to lose it. So instead I sat up and growled, "Come on! let's just GET up!" as I stomped towards the door. No silk robes or beautiful dresses. Running pants, a sweatshirt and fuzzy house slippers. No perfect hair or makeup.

Then my husband murmurs, "You need me to get up?"
Once again, I WISH I could say that I answered sweetly, "No, sweetheart, you just sleep, you need your rest."
No, instead I snapped, "No, it's fine! I got it!" Then I muttered under my breath, " That way YOU can sleep." He heard me. Sweetly he says, "Okay!"
Ggrrrr. Oh, I was a serious martyr at this point. Poor me. "I" have to do everything. "I" have to be the one to get up. What about me? Ouch. I despise that attitude.

So I prepare the "pop-tot" and milk for son and fix a cup of Hills Bro. Cappuccino for me. He wants to watch a taped episode of his favorite show Wild Kratts. Suurre, I think to myself. Why would I want to watch anything? My eyes sweep around the room taking in the mess the kids had left yesterday and I groaned at the thought of the laundry and clean-up awaiting me today. Oh, yes, I was seriously entrenched in stinkin-thinkin.
Then I checked my FB. One family had lost a beloved grandfather. Another is battling a stroke with their mother...who is only 40 years old.
One friend, a teacher, had posted a prayer in the wee hours. She's at a new school and is experiencing major spiritual warfare. She grew up separated from siblings, being shuffled from one foster home to another to group care. She still battles that feeling of loneliness and not being accepted. But she repeatedly leans upon the Lord for her strength and guidance.
Then there's the mom with 4 kids, ages 5, 4, 2 and a newborn. She worked for me when she was a carefree teenager. Her 4 year old suffers with Mitochondrial Disease. Among the many problems it causes, he doesn't walk or interact the way her other children are able to. He has many health problems which will only grow worse as he gets older. Sleepless nights are frequent for her. She had overslept this morning. She's been working very hard on doing a fall market to benefit their missions program at church. It's taking place today and she was trying to get there.

Then there were happy posts from people who were already up and planning a day with the family.

And here I was grumbling because my little boy had the audacity to want mommy up with him. I was allowing a bad mood because I have the burden of housework. I was jealous because my husband was able to stay in bed longer. Ouch.

I remember what it is like to want children so badly and think you will not have that blessing. I remember what it is like to want a nice home. I remember what it is like to work all week outside the home to where Saturday is pretty much the only time you have to do the housework. I remember the days when my husband worked crazy night hours and I hated him being gone. And yet here I am complaining over it when I have a houseful of children, a lovely home, and my husband is home with us.
Lord, forgive me for taking your blessings for granted! While I do struggle with fatigue, it's no excuse for a bad attitude! Strengthen me and refresh me with energy and a renewed mind and spirit to face the day with gratitude! Help me to treat my family with love and to cherish them, not treat them as a burden to be tolerated. Most of all, help me to set "me" to the side and focus on You!

It's Not Lemonade Until You Sweeten It

2011-10-21T09:18:00.002-05:00

My oldest son loves it when I make homemade lemonade. I add some extras that are not necessarily needed to make it good but just put it over into the extra special. It's really sweet and gets stronger the longer the ingredients mix.

My lemonade is not unlike a marriage.

I start out with the basics, lemons and water. In marriage you begin with an ordinary man and an ordinary woman.

But it doesn't become lemonade until you add the sugar. In marriage this is the love! To become more than just separate ordinary people, you must mix in love. However, just a romantic love won't be enough sugar to overcome the sourness of the human spirit or the blandness of a self centered person coming into marriage. The love must be grounded in friendship and self sacrifice.

The idea that you must fight to not "lose your identity" is one that the enemy has planted in order to destroy. Before you jump to a conclusion I am not drawing, let me explain what I mean by that. :)
I am not suggesting that you lose yourself in your spouse. It's sad to see a classy, strong individual marry and then they morph into this henpecked shadow of a person. What I am saying is that marriage will and should change you into a better person, one who is capable of putting another's needs before their own without becoming a martyr.

When we are saved we become a new creation in Christ. If we fight to hold onto our identity then we are fighting to hold onto an old person and lifestyle. This brings a wedge into our relationship with Christ that changes everything! While you may be saved, you are depriving yourself of so many blessings that Christ has for you as well as holding yourself back from joining Him in HIS plan for your life! Marriage is such a picture of this. When we fight so hard to hold onto our old, unmarried self it may not change our married status but it deprives us of the fullness of blessings that marriage brings! You may be a feisty lemon or cool water on your own but when you come together and add enough love then you can become something more together than you would have ever dreamed on your own!

But there are other ingredients that can be added to a marriage that can raise it to an even more special level. Respect. Appreciation. Concern. Flirtation.

Respect and build up your spouse. Flippant remarks, jokes at their expense, outright putdowns even, are all things that disrespect and tear down the protective walls of your marriage. Bringing your spouse down doesn't make you look better. Remember God says you are one now. So you are really hurting yourself when you engage in ripping them apart, even when you attach an "I'm just kidding" to the end of your statement.

Appreciate the things your spouse does for you and your home. Too often we attach a selfish version of ourself to every appreciative remark. Don't know what I mean? Have you ever noticed your spouse looking tired at the end of the day and immediately the thought entered, "Well, I 'm tired, too! Look at everything I've had to deal with today!" Appreciate how hard he or she works. Appreciate the little things they do to try to help out, even if it isn't the way you do it. You shouldn't engage in a competition with your spouse to see who had it worse today.

Show concern for them. Don't allow your other responsibilities to overshadow your responsibilities as a spouse. Other than your relationship with Christ, your marriage should be the number one relationship in your life. Make your spouse the priority. Remember when all you could think about was when you'd see them again?

And for goodness sake, flirt with your spouse! Do you remember that little thrill you got when you first got together? A look, a smile, a touch could send electric shocks through you. A song on the radio made you think of them. Who wants to go without that feeling just because they hold a marriage license?

You may be saying, "Well, you don't understand, my spouse doesn't do these things. Why should I?" To that, I would say....well, why shouldn't you?

To the wife who makes sure to tell her husband how he isn't good looking anymore like he was when they married....to the husband who jokes about his wife as though she has no common sense....to the wife who confides in her friends instead of her husband....to the husband who enjoys his sports more than his family....to the wife who lives for her kids and their activities but has no time to join her husband in activities they might share....to the husband who looks at other women and sees their attributes but only sees his wife's faults...to the wife that views her husband as a bumbling loser....to the couple who feel trapped by marriage rather than protected and sheltered by it...

If you apply the philosophy of why should I bother, then you must allow your spouse to apply the same philosophy. Why should they bother either? So every time one of you messes up then the philosophy would be OK it's my turn now! You mistreated me so now I will do the same! And you are left with nothing more than a mess. It's funny how we can plainly see it when children act out this philosophy and we are swift to correct them, yet we rarely see ourselves acting it out in our marriage.

Someone has to be the one to add sugar when things turn sour, to add the extras that will bring vitality and sparkle to a lifeless marriage, to add the ice and cool things down when hot tempers flare.

To bring refreshment when life has worn us down and we just want peace.

I don't know about you, but I want to be that refreshment to my husband. I want to be his resting place. That won't happen if I am not actively becoming that person to him. If I am running around putting him down, making everything and everybody more important than him, making sure he knows I am better than him, telling him he is lucky to have me....is he really going to view me as his peace, the one person he can trust and always count on?

A conversation in a group was going on the other day and I don't even remember now what it was about. I do remember joking that my husband is perfect, for why else would I be married to him! I thought nothing of it for I can make a statement like that and not feel threatened by it. Yet you should have seen the reaction by the other guys! "Man, she just called you perfect!" "You better get that in writing or on tape!" and on and on it went.

No, my husband isn't really perfect and neither am I. But he is perfect for ME.

The longer the ingredients are allowed to mix the stronger and more vibrant the flavor will be. What can you do to make your lemon and water something special? Remember, the best recipes are not the ones where the ingredients compete with one another but rather the ones that blend together into something wonderful!

Autumn Fun

2011-10-19T14:40:00.003-05:00

Well, I promised to share some fall pictures as well so I thought I would show you some pictures I took when we took a recent trip to the river. Well, trip probably isn't the right word because this is only a few minutes from my door but here goes. :)

The water was low but still it was beautiful because you could see all the river rocks.

We hiked along the riverbank...

....and found a few blooms hanging on.

Little LadyBug spotted the sunlight hitting the tree above us just right to catch this shot.

The children observed everything closely....

They even managed to learn something new!

Yes, that is indeed a porta potty. They had never seen one (well, that they remembered anyway!) and wanted to peek inside LOL. Chalk it up to life experience LOL

It was a beautiful day spent together. What treasures are you passing by that would be a fun time for your family?

Where Did Summer Go?

2011-10-13T16:03:00.004-05:00

Summer has slipped away and here we are right in the middle of fall, my favorite time of year! Over the summer we had birthday parties, gardening, the GuitarMan had a big concert with his band, and there were countless evenings spent outside while the children chased fireflies. Well, here, let me just show you!

What is summer without grilling out?
Our gas grill is great if there is a crowd or
we're in a hurry but the taste can't be beat on this old grill!

The sunsets looking out from our back porch were breathtaking! That's the roof of our church you see.

FlowerChild and The GuitarMan had birthdays in June. She wanted a Flying Backwards birthday party. What is this, you ask? That is the name of GuitarMan's band. Their symbol is the hummingbird. We bought a plain ice cream cake and her big brother drew their symbol on it.

The things a brother will do for his baby sister!!

Lots of time was spent outside in the backyard.

Big brother worked on helping his little brother become a fisherman.

(You can see the very beginning of the garden in this picture)

The garden was a HUGE blessing! We had squash running out of our ears!

Flying Backwards did a big concert and we traveled south to be there. Since they do a lot of concerts in churches, the FisherMan had never seen our son perform with his band.

We were not disappointed.
They put on a great show!

Here's my boy, the GuitarMan, otherwise known as Jacob :)

Amidst all this we also had VBS, visits to the splashpad, and other summer fun. But the fun didn't end with summer. Next time I will share what we have been up to with the cooler weather. :)

Go, Go, G...can I stop now?

2011-08-27T12:12:00.000-05:00

Every time I sit down to write a post it seems I get interrupted. Do you ever get that feeling? As though you can't finish anything for having to start another? Well, today is no exception for me. I have laundry going and need to finish organizing our playroom/schoolroom. And I don't even want to think about our master bedroom and bathroom. But for now, it looks like I am about to head out the door to take the kiddos to the splashpad. We promised them we would take them today and since we are going to grill chicken for supper we can't be too late. Oh, it never ends LOL. Sometimes you just have to hang on for the ride. ;)

A Few of My Favorite Things

2011-08-26T09:29:00.000-05:00

As tempted as I am by that title to post a picture of raindrops on roses or whiskers on kittens I will be strong and show you a little something else from my home. ;)

Oh, so much I could tell about this little snapshot. For starters, this was in my foyer. However, in my recent organization spree I did some rearranging. Okay, a LOT of rearranging! While the quilt still hangs here, the table has been moved and replaced by the piano. I told you I did a lot!

But let me just tell you what I see here. One, the chocolate wall. Autumn is my favorite time of year and the color of this accent wall just makes me happy. You can't see the bottom of this table but I think it is so pretty with the dark wooden legs and the marble top. Fresh flowers always lift my spirits.

But what I really want to show you is the quilt along with the quilt rack. The rack was handmade by my aunt's uncle. Yes, I am Southern and have that need to explain family ties even if we aren't actually related at all. Our family trees are sometimes curvy but at least mine ain't straight. (I'll let you think on that one!)

So anyway, he handmade the quilt rack and up top sit the Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy that I played with as a child. Now the quilt, oh the quilt. It is made from pieces that belonged to my grandmother. She died when I was only 2 years old. My mother had these quilt pieces sitting in bags and she pieced them together and found a quilting group who agreed to quilt it. The thoughts of my grandmother cutting those pieces out and my mom piecing them. Well, that makes this a treasure to me.

It first hung in my oldest son's bedroom when he was a baby. Since then it has warmed the living room wall and graced the bedroom wall. Now it welcomes folks in my front entryway. Isn't that the best way to show hospitality? To surround yourself with comfortable happy memories and share that love with all that enter? :)

Stuff That Makes You Happy

2011-08-19T06:00:00.003-05:00

Have you ever watched Hoarders? Oh, my! Talk about motivation! Then, of course, there is always the wakeup call of a move. What to keep. What to throw away.

Over the years, you tend to accumulate items that can overwhelm you. You wind up with just too much STUFF! I've gotten to where I try to only keep what I love. The result is that I am pretty much surrounded by things that make me happy.

DISCLAIMER: This does not include the numerous toys, art projects, dirty dishes, or laundry that seem to just follow my children LOL. Oh, and it also does not include the litter box. ;)

So I thought it would be fun to share some of my favorite things with you.

Today's favorite thing is:

My rooster

and my hen

There's nothing valuable about them but they are very special to me. They hang in my dining room.They hung in my mother-in-law's kitchen, on either side of the door leading to the dining room, for years and years, probably from around the time they built the house. There are pictures of my husband as a little boy and there they were.

The kitchen was always the hub of activity at my mother-in-law's house. You never found her in front of the tv, although she and I did share a few hallmark and Lifetime movies, always snuggled under a blanket and usually eating leftover toasted biscuits or fried egg sandwiches. Most of the time she was at her place at the kitchen table or puttering around in the kitchen cooking something.

She let me have these before she died simply because I told her that I wanted them. It felt so strange at the time to see them come down from the wall. But now I am so glad that I accepted them. They remind me of her and of big family gatherings at the holidays.

Next week I will share another favorite thing. :)

A Little Change'll Do Ya

2011-08-18T10:50:00.001-05:00

Well, I have been sooooo busy this week! I've been going room by room cleaning out and rearranging. (Insert high sing-song voice) L-O-V-E it!! I wasn't able to rearrange much in our last house. While it was home and I loved it dearly, it was a case of get it in there and it fits only where it fits. So maybe that is why I even moved the piano this week...just because I can!

I joked on facebook that everything I am not sure about goes to the next room and by the time I get to the last room I will need energency crews to rescue me! But it's not really that bad. I basically am trying to be sure that I am surrounded by things that I love. I also want each room to "work"..ya know what I mean by that? I am applying the critical eye to each room and anything that doesn't feel right or causes problems or chaos, well, it's outa here. Oh, maybe not out of the house exactly, but moved around so that there is a calm peacefulness.

Sometimes just moving things from one room to another helps open things up. I moved my childhood bookcase my uncle built for me from Cornbread's room to the playroom. I moved the little white bookshelf from his room to the girls' room. The little gold shelf in their room went to his room. The piano went from the living room to the foyer. I also added a small table to the washroom area so I could put detergents/dryer sheets on it and not constantly bump my head on open cabinet doors.

The result? A lot more reading going on again with so many books in the play/schoolroom. And the girls' have a sturdy shelf for their books and trophies instead of the flimsy one they had (which sat out just far enough to make you run into it and knock the books down and trophies off if you weren't careful!) They have a beautiful lamp in their room which sat in the corner on the nightstand. I moved it to the dresser where it bathes the entire room in its soft glow.

The piano being out of the living room makes it a lot quieter in here. And roomier! which seems to have the added benefit of settling the children down instead of hyping them up. I also put the wooden bench and shoes in the laundry/kitchen area so they weren't constantly spilling across the living room. The table that originally sat in the foyer now sits in the living room. I've always kept fresh flowers on it but now I can really enjoy them!

My next project is to get this big desk out of the living room and replace it with a small dresser that I was using for my desk in the school area. The goal is to eliminate the hot spots in the house where "stuff" winds up in piles instead of going to its proper place.

If I was pregnant this would be considered nesting. If it was spring, I'd be spring cleaning. But it's not either of those! Honestly the little health scares I've had recently (mammogram scare and skin biopsies that showed precancer) have just made me more determined to make my home more streamlined and easier to keep clean so that I have time for the things that count. I also want to be surrounded by things I really enjoy and appreciate, not just things I have accumulated.

Tomorrow I will begin a Friday series to show you some of my favorite things. Are you surrounded by things you enjoy and people you love? make it count!!

Lazy Day

2011-08-14T15:09:00.000-05:00

It's a quiet Sunday afternoon. My girls are watching Pollyanna. The little guy is playing with his Buzz Lightyear behind my chair. Every so often you hear a little cry of "NOT today!!" He calls out all the little Toy Story quotes as he plays LOL.

When I dropped him off at his SS class he cried and clung to me. This was highly unusual for him. His teacher said he cried for quite a while. When I picked him up after church we had church conference (some call it business meeting). It wasn't very long yet he almost fell asleep. I noticed he was scratching and when I lifted his shirt he was all broken out in a rash. Since we've been home he obviously doesn't feel so great but he isn't running any fever. I am wondering if it could possibly be a light case of chicken pox. He has had his immunizations. I suppose time will tell. Just in case, I think I am going to stay home from church with him tonight. He won't be happy about that. We usually go out to eat with friends afterwards.

I've been working on cleaning out and organizing. My poor husband has to put up with me rearranging furniture when I get in these moods! But I am pleased with the results so far. It feels good to reevaluate things every so often. Where things aren't working you can change it up. where things just don't feel peaceful you can rearrange. it's also nice to have everything clean and fresh. Speaking of which, if you have never tried the Mr. Clean Gain scent, you are missing out! It smells so good and the scent is pretty long lasting.

But for today, it is rest. And I am falling asleep at the computer so I think it is time for some sure enough rest!

Plate Filling

2011-08-11T10:34:00.001-05:00

I'm sitting here relaxing for a few more minutes before heading back to the schoolroom. Are my kids the only ones who have a morning snack first and like to eat their breakfast mid morning? I guess they get it honest. I like my Hills Brothers Cappuccino first thing and then I eat midmorning. It works for us. Then we will eat our lunch around 1-1:30. Funny how the time difference when we moved reset our internal body clocks. We are finally getting to where we don't think of Central time as being "what time it REALLY is" ha ha

It's been a busy summer. Although it is surely hot there is something in the morning breeze that hints at fall. I can't wait to see the colors change. We are closer to the mountains and I hope some scenic trips might be in our autumn plans! I can't complain about the scenery right in our own town though. Even a trip to Wal-mart is rewarded with the mountains jutting up in the distance. And a 5 minute drive from my home gives a breathtaking view. Maybe I can share it with you sometime.

My plate is slowly filling up. We've been here 6 months. The first few months at a church are a settling in time. But gradually you begin to find your own niche and fill the spots where you are needed most. It started with doing the music for VBS. What fun that was!

From there the Lord has laid it on my heart to start a children's choir. It seems inadequate to call it that because it conjures up pictures of children lined up stiffly at the front of the church as they sing little songs. I want it to be more like VBS music with lots of movement and sign language.

Then I joined the choir. It's been a lot of fun. I've always enjoyed making a joyful noise.

Then the ladies SS class teacher suddenly took a new job opportunity and moved. So this month I've been teaching the ladies. Next month I am starting a new College and Career age class.

Yesterday I agreed to take on coordinating the AWANA program. Several people had been asking me to do it. I've been reluctant and had not given them a definite answer. I finally told them my main concern. I worry that I will take on the leadership position but it will mushroom into having to teach, etc. They assured me this won't happen. Hhmmm....we'll see! LOL

But the place I am needed the most is right here in my home with my precious family! I am blessed to be here. I love that when my husband goes to work at the office I can look right out the window and see the building. I love that I can be here to make home a place he wants to come to. I love that when my children are curious about something that they come to me. I even love that when they act up it is me that deals with it. Misbehavior comes from a root of heart trouble. I want to be the one who holds my children's hearts and guides them to the ultimate Keeper of the heart!

I just want to be very careful to not allow anything to start creeping in and taking over the most important part of my duties. Sometimes we can be guilty of thinking this is just home and that the other responsibilities we have are the ones that can't slide. While it wouldn't be right to accept a responsibility, only to give a half-hearted effort, it's worse when we give a half-hearted effort for those who are most important to us. I'm not saying this as I stand on a pedestal, patting myself on my back, because I would NEVER do that. I'm just as guilty as anyone else of letting laziness creep in and taking my biggest blessings for granted. Just as laziness is no excuse, neither is busyness. So I am trying to carefully evaluate what God would have me take on.

I don't want to let life get so full, even with 'good" things, that I miss out on the best! :)

Are You Dense?

2011-08-09T22:32:00.001-05:00

Guys, if you are too delicate to read this post, please have your wife, gf, sister, daughter to read it. While I do joke around in this post the info provided may at the least, help her with questions and at the most, save her life!

I finally went to the doctor for a physical a couple of weeks ago and she scheduled me for a mammogram.

This was my first mammogram so even though I had heard stories I was still unsure of what to expect. I had always heard how it hurt, etc, etc. But that's it. Well, let me fill you in. No one ever mentioned the stickers to me. Yes, you get pretty little flowered stickers. And let me tell you, it takes a talented technician to keep the awkward vibes down when there you are standing in front of her naked from the waist up while she decorates your bosoms with flower stickers. So from there you stand at this machine and she positions you and repositions you to make sure you are just so. Once again, major awkward factor as she pulls and tugs. There's really nowhere to look at this point so I just plastered a friendly expression on and tried to appear attentive. I mean, she's about to squeeze the ta-ta's in a vise, so I figured friendliness might be key.

It really wasn't horrible pain by any means. I've experienced worse. Well, at this point she told me that I had dense breast tissue and that the pectoral muscles were short and deep which complicated getting a good view behind the muscle and she was surprised since I had nursed 3 babies long term. This warranted extra views. I noticed she only did extra views on one side but thought no more about it. She mentioned my "young breast tissue" again and I thanked her and went on my way. How do you respond to this anyway? I'm Southern you must remember. So thank you it was.

Then I got the dreaded call back to return for a spot view compression mammogram and possible ultrasound.

When I arrived the first thing they told me was that there was an area of concern on the left chest wall. I had told myself that they just couldn't obtain an adequate view but when I heard this I had to face the possibility of something more.

Now a spot view compression mammogram is performed using the same machine but with different paddles and a LOT more pressure. It allows them to hone in on a particular area rather then the entire breast. Unlike the first mammogram, this one got pretty uncomfortable. After the spot view was taken the technician took it straight to the radiologist and had me wait in case he wanted additional views. While she was gone I prayed. I didn't beg God to not let there be anything there or anything like that. I just prayed that He would let the radiologist see everything he needed to with clarity, to protect my body and to walk with me through this.

When she returned more views were taken. Unlike the last mammogram, this one was excruciating. She had to get from under the breast to almost at the throat and squeeze it all in. Whew, had to shut my eyes on that one. But the radiologist was satisfied with this set of views.

Now why did all this have to be done? Because of dense breast tissue. You see, the breast is one area you actually want fatty tissue! Fatty tissue shows up as gray on a mammogram. Dense tissue shows up white. However, cancer also shows up as white. So when the radiologist reads the mammogram of a woman with dense breast tissue, he is trying to look through white to find white. They liken it to trying to find a polar bear in a snowstorm.

Younger women tend to have more dense tissue. But as you age the tissue turns more and more fatty. This is a good thing! Doctors used to think that having dense breast tissue simply made it harder to spot the cancer at an early stage. While true, they have recently discovered something else. Having dense breast tissue raises your risk of getting breast cancer by 4 - 6 times!!!

What does all this mean? Well, for one, every woman needs to know how dense her breast tissue is. It is actually rated. You can only tell by getting a mammogram and chances are you will have to ask. For women whose tissue is considered to be very dense it means that just having a traditional mammogram probably isn't enough. Now my doctor sent the orders for an ultrasound to be performed if the diagnostic mammogram had not been enough. If he had not been satisfied after the second round of views, that would have been the next step. Most of the resources I have studied indicate having something additional performed whether it be a spot view, an ultrasound, or an MRI.

I was given the all clear from the radiologist. But this experience forced me to research the topic and I for one, was shocked to find out about the risk factor dense breast tissue presents. So please, do your own search on the topic. Inform yourself. Take care of yourself. Don't rely on a form letter to tell you that your are healthy. Request the actual reports and see what the radiologist wrote. I read many testimonials from women who were diagnosed with advanced cancer after several years of the radiologist making a note that the tissue was dense. Many doctors are not aware of this! So arm yourself with knowledge! Be blessed!

But I don't want to!

2011-06-03T14:28:00.000-05:00

I'm having an attitude problem. I'm looking around at what needs to be done. I have the desire for the work to be done but I have no desire to actually do the work! Therein lies the problem.
I think we could truthfully apply that to a lot of areas in our life.

We want our church to have "programs" but we don't want to actually work in them.

We want to be healthy but we don't want to work or sacrifice to get that way.

Same thing with weight...(don't even want to go there LOL!)

We want our children to behave, make good choices, etc but we are tired.

We want our homes to look nice but don't want to do housework, yardwork, work!

Ugh, so what to do, what to do? I'm telling myself the answer right now as I type.

Get over yourself! Sometimes you have to lay aside the selfish, less important desires and just do the harder thing in order to get results and have the real desires of your heart.

Sigh..so I guess that's where I am headed now. I'm going to go jump back into the actual process of work so I can see the results and have the real desires of my heart...a peaceful home!

Is there an area of your life that needs a little work too? Be blessed, friends :)

It's That Kind of Day

2011-05-31T09:24:00.001-05:00

A lemon and honey kind of day, that is. The children are getting sore throats. One pediatrician told us to mix a teaspoon of honey and a teaspoon of lemon juice for cough and sore throat. I tried it but I just didn't find it to bring relief. Not only that, my children were not too keen on being spoonfed honey. We like to do this instead. Heat a mug of water to your desired temp. Then coat the bottom of the cup very liberally with honey. Add 2-3 teaspoons of lemon according to your taste. Stir and sip. Very soothing and relaxing!

The Best Plans But...

2011-05-24T13:17:00.004-05:00

Yesterday we had to do some hospital visitation in another town. We've been hearing about BJ's wholesale club about 20 minutes from there and how we should check it out so we decided to combine the two destinations. We paid a nice long visit to a church member in the hospital. Then we headed over to the next stop.

What we did not anticipate was the traffic between the two towns! We got stuck in rush hour traffic, bumper to bumper! Oh my...we've been living out in the boonies for the last 5 years and it had been a long time!

Finally I told my husband that I did not care what it was, just please stop at the next restaurant we came to and let's eat supper to let the traffic clear out. It turned out to be a Smokey Bones which we had never eaten at. The food was good and it was a much needed break. We got ready to leave and their computers went down. So we had to wait for them to get the computer working before we could leave. (Isn't that so sad that we are THAT dependent on a computer?!)

We finally made it to the wholesale club and did a walk through to check prices. By now my precious children were getting tired and could have cared less about it LOL. Drama ensued when the store had every size EXCEPT FlowerChild's! But that is to be expected. At any rate we were very impressed with the prices and the fact that they give monthly coupon books as well as accepting coupons. So we bought a membership there...and then it was closing time!

I didn't get the first grocery item LOL!

The day was gone so we headed home to get the littles to bed. So it looks like I will be trying to grocery shop again today :)

I could get very frustrated because I didn't accomplish yesterday's errands plus had to rearrange today's plans. (Couldn't even get my laundry done because I was out of detergent) But there's really no need. We had a great time together and a good meal plus discovered a new place to go. It's all good ;)

Buffalo Chicken Chili

2011-05-22T21:56:00.002-05:00

We had this for Sunday dinner today and it was so good! I didn't follow a specific recipe so here is what I put together.

1 T olive oil
2 T butter/margarine
2 lbs chicken breast, boiled and chopped
1 large onion diced (I used 1/2 of a VERY large Vidalia)
1/2 bell pepper diced
3 stalks celery diced (my guys don't like the texture so I buy celery that has lots of leaves and chop the leaves and only a small amount of celery stalk instead. I do the same thing in cornbread dressing.)
4 cloves garlic diced
1 15 oz can tomato sauce
1 15 oz can diced tomatoes
1 can black beans
1 can kidney beans
hot wing sauce to taste ( I used 1/2 - 3/4 bottle)
3 T smoked paprika
2 T chili powder
1 T cumin
salt to taste

Cook veggies til tender in olive oil and butter/margarine. Add all other ingredients and simmer desired length of time. I served this with plenty of blue cheese crumbles, Tostito Scoops, and extra wing sauce and hot sauce on the side for those who like more heat!

This Week Has Flown!

2011-04-08T18:39:00.003-05:00

It's been a busy time the last week. Last weekend we had friends come to visit and spend the weekend as well as The GuitarMan being home and my mom was also visiting! This week the children have been battling allergies and the grumpies that accompany them. Yet we still managed to homeschool and even had a field trip to a local ministry house that gives aid to the needy. they have been learning about communities and family in Social Studies along with the difference between needs and wants, so it was good timing. Lately fierce storms have been periodically moving through so we are appreciating the nice weather. Tomorrow we plan to go to a local attraction where the children can play in the water and sand. They have new bathing suits and water shoes so they are beside themselves with anticipation. Oh, my that made me think, I forgot to purchase sunscreen! I'm going to be leading/teaching the music at our Vacation Bible School this summer. I'm working on learning the new VBS music along with the moves. The children enjoy practicing with me and we almost have 2 songs down pat now. Cornbread loves chiming in. It's so cute to hear his little voice bellowing out "J-E-E-S-U-S!!!" at odd moments in the music or "Lu you mo mo mo" along with one of his favorite tune. Don't you know the Lord loves this sweet child's innocent praise? In other news we acquired a new pet. She's a cute little miniature Dachshund and we got her for free! We were on church visitation and had just told a member who has one how much we'd love to have one, too. Later on at another church member's home we were getting up to leave when I glanced out their back sliding glass door and noticed one that looked exactly like the one at the other member's house scratching on the door to come in. Thinking it belonged to this couple we were visiting, we told them how cute it was and how we wanted one. They said, "Well it's not ours, its the neighbor's and they are giving her away." Ten minutes later we had a new addition and a surprise for the children that outweighed the usual chip or candy they might have received when we were gone LOL

Where, oh where, did my routines go?

2011-03-29T21:36:00.006-05:00

Oh, my, what a day! My husband is sick for the second day in a row with a stomach virus. This is the same man who, when he worked construction on the oil refineries, fell face first 30-some-odd feet into pipes, and got up and walked (bleeding everywhere, mind you). Just last year, he and my son were doing some work and the knife slipped and went almost through his hand. Not a scream, not a tear. But, let him get sick? He turns to putty. I'm sure all you wives know exactly what I mean! I swear we've been sick more in the last 2months, since we moved, than we've been in the last 2 years! I'm sure this virus will make its rounds through the family, oh joy. In all the fun of the move and the subsequent illness after illness, our daily schedule has suffered. Suffered mightily. Routines are out the window. It leaves this woman an unhappy camper. I'm not a clean freak by any means. But I like for things to be orderly. I like to do my dishes before bed and wake up to unload the dishwasher while I wait for my coffee. At the same time, I can cheerfully lay my head upon my pillow with absolutely no qualms if my kitchen is dirty. A sink full of dishes does not hinder my ability to sleep, and sleep well, in the least. It does, however, seriously hinder my ability to begin my day with peace. I like for things to smell nice. I will walk down the laundry detergent aisle at the store for no reason other than to inhale the scent of "fresh and clean." Left to myself I will wander the aisles to lovingly sniff the various candles and potpourri not to mention soaps and shampoos. Oh, and air fresheners. Who could forget those? My girls have picked up this habit, too, I'm afraid. But it is my custom to not use any fresheners, etc until a room is clean. So if it isn't cleaned up, I don't get the smell good! Aside from the cleaning routines, we also have the school routines to think about. Homeschooling gives you some flexibility in that area. However, a schedule helps us stay on track and be sure we are covering everything. With the time change, the old routines no longer work. So today I came up with a new schedule. Time will tell if it works! Naturally the weather is cold and wet out so the children can't get outside to run off their energy! They were up late this weekend because their brother was home. (he had not been home in a month!) Daddy out of commission + lack of sleep + no outside playtime = some wild children LOL! But I managed to get them to bed on time tonight and the kitchen is clean. I've already run the dishwasher and there is a load of towels washed and ready for the dryer in the morning. Oh my goodness! Could it be? Is that peace I feel slipping into the house tonight? Ha ha be blessed, my friends :)

Mini-Catch-Up

2011-03-15T21:16:00.004-05:00

My, it has really been a while! Where do I begin? Well, for one, we have moved to a different state. My husband accepted a different church pastorate back in January. While we are still in the South, it is a new time zone for us and that has been quite the challenge to adjust to. About the time we finally began to settle into it, the time changed occurred last Saturday so we are all mixed up yet again!

As for the family, other than a bout with flu a few weeks ago we are just fine. The GuitarMan is still in college and the move puts him a little further away. Throw in his job, male chorale tour and sports and it adds up to not seeing him nearly often enough! We saw him the last weekend of February and will see him again the end of March. His hand healed quite well and other than some minor "reminders" there are no signs of his injuries, at least at this point. You would most certainly not know it from seeing or hearing him play!

FlowerChild and LadyBug are growing like crazy. LadyBug has even begun to come out her shell just a bit. Cornbread is talking up a storm now! They have adjusted quickly to the move although they do miss their friends and ask about them often, sometimes daily.

We brought 2 pets with us, Tiger, our 14 year old cat, and Pretzel, our puppy. After we lost Chi-Chi to the rattlesnake bite, we all just missed her like crazy. So we got the kids a Rat Terrier puppy from the shelter and surprised them with her on Christmas morning. Talk about love! I'm not sure who loves who the most, the children or Pretzel! We have a fenced in yard now and she gets out there with them and runs and plays so hard!

So that gives you a little glimpse of how we are doing. I hope to get back to blogging now that we are settling in to our new home. So until next time, blessings to you!

Hiding in a Crowd

2010-07-28T22:02:00.002-05:00

Wow, it's been a while since I've stared at a blank page and thought of how to fill it! I've not even been reading too many blogs. I pop on here occasionally to check for comments and I may check in on favorite blogs here or there though.

I do Facebook but I've come to a conclusion. I think blogging to facebooking is as reading books is to watching television. Or at the least, reading classics is to reading People magazine. ;)

It's not that there is anything wrong with it. It's fantastic for finding old friends and just keeping up with people. Some folks think it's good for nothing but gossip. I guess that could be true for some. I enjoy seeing the statuses and staying in touch with friends. I'm horrible with making phone calls and even emails. When I think back to junior high and how I would stay on the phone for hours I have to laugh because that is so not me now! Who has time? Facebook is easier somehow. Write on someone's wall, comment on their status or picture, even talk on chat without them overhearing your barking dog or the toddler "singing" and rocking out on his guitar like his big brother....er, well, I don't guess everyone has that in the background!

But it also allows you to hide away. Facebook lets you cast out a quick status and be done with it. Or no status at all! Blogging demands a bit more thought. Well, at least the way I blog. I just try to be me and have a conversation...sometimes crossing into rambling. :) By the way, am I the only one who hates those blogs that put up like one line or a picture or something and they get like 96 comments? Anyway...;)

I've just noticed that blogging makes you look a little deeper, think a little harder, share a little more of yourself...yet you can also remain somewhat anonymous. Hmmm, come to think of it, Facebook is the opposite...it's not anonymous at all, yet you don't really have to share very much of yourself, the real you.

I haven't been doing too much of that. But maybe time will allow me to start again. I appreciate those of you that have stuck around and continued to check for updates. :)

Happenings Around Here

2010-05-15T15:18:00.002-05:00

Well, another dog lost. :( This time it wasn't a car but something more sinister...a rattlesnake. She was bitten yesterday evening and lasted about 4 1/2 hours. Poor little Chi-Chi is only about 6 pounds or so and just couldn't take the venom. LadyBug seems to be taking it the hardest among the children. Our Bassett Hound, Daisy, and Chi-Chi are the best of friends and poor Daisy has spent the day looking for her. So sad.

The GuitarMan has finished his semester and is home now. I introduced him to Pilates this morning. We worked out together. Ha ha, now if that wasn't a sight I just don't know what would be! He has a new found admiration for it now though.

Afterwards I cut the FisherMan's hair outside under the plum tree while the children played in the pool. He asked if there was a way we could be any more redneck. I had plenty of ideas on that if he wanted but he didn't want to take part lol. Apparently it was a rhetorical question.

This week was one of appreciating nature. We watched a butterfly this morning after it had emerged from it's chrysalis. It was a slow process as it allowed its wings to dry and stretch but finally it took flight.

It was rather surreal to be watching this new life readying itself for adventure while we were in the process of burying our dog. The children helped us bury her at the back of our garden.

As scary as the snake incident was, it made the children realize why we make them be so careful outside. This years seems like it's going to be a bad one for snakes. This is the second one we've had. Several people have already had them in their yards too.

Earlier this week we had a nest of baby birds also take flight. We did not realize it but then The FisherMan arrived home and noticed something in Chi-Chi's mouth. It was a baby bird. He rescued it in the nick of time. Then we got to looking and found them all inside the gazebo and cook shack fluttering and tweeting. The one our dog had caught was smaller than the rest and could not fly, whether it be from size or the scare of being in the dog's mouth, I do not know! We kept it for a few hours in a laundry basket until she seemed ready to try again. FlowerChild really wanted to keep it. She could not see why it wasn't ok to keep a wild bird even when we tried to explain that it would be more cruel to keep it than to release it.

Yes, it is always something at our house! And now I have to run as it must be laundry. No laundry fairy has arrived to take care of it so that leaves me! However I do have two little girls coming on up that love to play fairy! hhmmmm..... that gets me to thinking ;)

What's for Supper, Mama?

2010-05-13T13:44:00.003-05:00

MONDAY

(leftovers)

roasted teriyaki pork tenderloin

string beans/ butterbeans (choice)

mashed potatoes/scalloped potatoes (choice)

spinach salad

TUESDAY

Soccer night-$5 pizza :)

WEDNESDAY

ham (left from Sunday)

fresh black crowder peas

rutabagas (kids ate grapes)

cornbread

THURSDAY

hotdogs (did you know they make them now with no nitrates? call me sheltered, I had no idea)

tater tots

glazed carrots

FRIDAY

grilled salmon

glazed carrots

salad

potatoes

SATURDAY

lemon pepper chicken

rice

stir fry veggies

salad

SUNDAY

smoked ham

macaroni and cheese

fresh peas

mashed potatoes

DESSERTS:

vanilla pudding cake

angelfood cake with strawberries

fatfree pudding

Birthday Weekend

2010-05-03T06:10:00.004-05:00

Rain is pouring outside this morning. Peaceful now but I'm not looking forward to doing errands in it! But I am thankful that it turned out to be a nice weekend. We celebrated Cornbread's birthday Saturday. We originally had plans on doing it at the zoo. We thought it might be a good location to enable us to invite some folks who aren't really able to come this far. While it would mean a trip for those who live here, we also thought it would be a fun day for all the kids.

Then we got the soccer schedule and had to regroup. It was not an easy feat! We tried to plan around games, GuitarMan's schedule, friend's work schedules...there was no choice but to do it Saturday night. That cut out inviting anyone from any distance. They kept talking rain and we thought, "Oh, my what will we do with a housefull of folks in the rain?" But we took the plunge and did it anyway and it turned out to be such a pleasant time.

Soccer took up the morning and we followed that with lunch at a Mexican restaurant. Then we ran over to Wal-Mart and picked up what we needed. When we got home we all rested for a while. Everyone started arriving around 4:30. We grilled hotdogs, fried french fries and I fixed a pan of baked beans. The older kids played in the pool and on the slip and slide. The little ones toddled around and stayed busy with balls and dirt play, occasionally venturing over to investigate the slip and slide. The adults visited with each other indoors and out.

We followed that with supper then cake then presents! He was so adorable...he loved everything...well, he wasn't sure about that bouncing Tigger but as long it stayed still he was willing to at least like it lol. We got him a Harley Davidson trike. The guys said it was like our own version of American Chopper getting to put it together.

Plans were changed. The food wasn't fancy. The house wasn't perfect. We were a little crowded. But it was a night filled with lots of love and laughter. True fellowship.

I can't believe he is already two years old! My sweet boy...ha, ha he decided to show how big he was yesterday. He managed to make a break for it from the back of the church and burst into the sanctuary! He heard his daddy preaching and wanted to see him...so he did. I was teaching the older children's Bible study but I hear it was quite the spectacle! :) Da-da!

Laugh and enjoy life today!!

Part 2

2010-04-14T21:44:00.005-05:00

I mentioned on my last post that I didn't want anyone to misunderstand my absence from blogging. I did not want it to appear that my faith in God has been shaken. No, if anything, it is stronger than ever because He has held me up through all of the trials!

But I have also worried a bit over another possible misconception. I don't want anyone to have this picture in their minds that my life has been shattered and that the miscarriage is all I think of....that it CONSUMES me. I guess deep down I feel as though if it reached this point that it would be also be a sign of dwindling faith or the questioning of God on my part. But there are things about it that I want to share.

While it is always with me, time really does help. In the first days following a miscarriage it is more in the forefront of your mind and heart. But when you are blessed as I am with other responsibilities and concerns, you simply MUST forge ahead.

I have a husband who is also grieving. It would not help him for me to fall apart.

(This seems to be a great place to insert something)

Please, please, please if you ever have friends or loved ones who lose a baby, do not forget to reach out to the father of the baby. So much attention is focused on the mother and rightly so but people seem to forget that this man has also lost a child and the future he dreamed of with it. It's not that you have to be all touchy-feely with him about it. But phone calls or visits from men he is friends with can go a long way in just helping to restore his well being. Ladies, if you call, don't just ask about the mom, ask about him as well. The same could be said about sending cards.

It's important to remember that the father is dealing not only with this loss but also with helping his wife through her pain and sheltering her from anything she can't deal with at that time. He needs support, too. But too many times he is ignored by the majority of well-meaning people.

I also want to warn moms that go through this...don't be surprised if people you have been very close to suddenly withdraw from you. Sometimes people don't know what to say so they back off from you and don't say anything. It can be especially bad if you have friends who are pregnant or have a new baby. What's so bad about that is the more they avoid you in an attempt to not make it awkward...well, the more they draw out your loss and make it an awkward situation. It's hard to get life back to normal and heal when your normal friends are staying away. Their absence is always a reminder of what happened.

So, folks, if you don't know what to say, it's ok. Just say something like, "I love you and I am so sorry." Don't ignore them or neglect to say anything if they come around. Don't disappear from their life. They have already lost a child they don't need to lose their friends/support system on top of that.

Back to what I was saying.

I also had children that had to deal with the loss. The GuitarMan took it harder than I suspected he might. Yet he also was such a help in just being here. That's the great thing about family. You draw strength from each other.

The younger children dealt with it differently. It took time for them to understand what happened. For the first week or so I noticed that LadyBug was somewhat withdrawn. Where she normally is always ready to be held or hugged, suddenly she would pull away quite often. She was quiet and moody. It didn't help that she got sick with flu and the Tamiflu affected her behavior. FlowerChild couldn't understand where the baby went, that she wasn't safe inside Mommy's tummy anymore. I still LOOKED pregnant so it was confusing to say the least.

Gradually though they opened up with their questions and started putting it all together. They took comfort in knowing Abigail was in heaven but they were quite blunt in their desire to have her here with us. Very often, out of the blue, one will tell me, "I want Abigail." It's good that they are able to talk about it naturally and normally.

Just this week they saw some friends they hadn't seen in a while. We are expecting some new babies at church and this friend also had some family that is expecting. He told my girls, "Oh and your mama is going to have a baby, too." They told him that no, the baby died. Then they proceeded to tell him all about her.

They could not have reached that point had I let this take over everything. I HAD to restore normal life. One thing that made it hard was my body! I guess the easiest way to put it is my body was confused and thought I was still pregnant. I am just now starting to lose a little of the weight. Each day has been a battle when it came time to dress because of course, you don't want maternity clothes but they are too big anyway. Regular clothes are too tight. So I was reduced to just a few outfits that worked. Just another reminder to me of what happened!

So life has not been consumed in grief although grief has certainly been present. No, life has been consumed with trying to get back to a good place. I don't know if I ever updated here but LadyBug's test results turned out well. Hopefully, the serious infection she had was just a fluke.

We went from the loss of the baby, straight into swine flu with all three younger children, straight into the illness and tests on LadyBug...it was rough. We were blessed a couple of weeks ago with a free stay for our family at a beach retreat. Wouldn't you know I was sick the whole time? (Not flu, BTW, allergy/virus, I always get sick following stress). Still, the away time, the ocean, the children's delight...it all was soothing to our hurting hearts. And it felt good to come home again.

Home, routines, time together...a good place.

Walking Through It

2010-04-13T08:29:00.006-05:00

Hello to all my bloggy friends! I want to thank all of you that have faithfully checked in here for posts and continued to follow. Writing of any sort, even if it's just a little post about your day or your schedule, opens you up and exposes you. When facing trials and grief and I tend to withdraw and close myself off somewhat. I think with everything that has happened I needed a bit of a blog break. But I have really missed it.

I think my biggest concern about not blogging was how people that do not know me in real life or perhaps know me and do not see me on a regular basis might perceive my absence. While losing Abigail was certainly a hard hit I don't want anyone to think that it has shaken my faith. Some bloggers like to write only about certain things such as a cooking blog, a Bible study blog, homemaking blog, etc. Well, my approach is a mish--mash of everything in my life. In the course of that, I hope to weave a picture of my walk with the Lord. I would not want my suddenly disappearing to make anyone think I was questioning Him or blaming Him in any way.

You can expect a lot of things following a miscarriage. The severity of these things will vary from person to person. A lot will depend on your support system.

Physically, a woman's body has to adjust to suddenly not being pregnant. Some women face heavy bleeding for several weeks that wears them down. Others do not have that problem, especially if a D & C was required. Hormone ups and downs can cause mild symptoms similar to pms all the way to full blown depression. If the pregnancy hormones take longer to disappear then you may even still feel pregnant. But all of this regulates after a while. Be prepared though that it might take up to 4 - 6 weeks.

Emotionally it is expected that sadness and depression would be present. That's a given. If it is severe enough to interfere with daily responsibilities and just being able to function in general then don't hesitate to let the doctor know. Medication will help.

If what you are dealing with is simply the loss and sadness I want to encourage you that it will get better. Don't be tempted to mask your feelings in an attempt to hide from the pain. You will have good days and bad days. You may not want to talk to people. That's ok! Cry if you need to. Laugh when you can. Take solace in whatever brings you comfort. But walk through the pain to get to the other side.

Expect that you may also deal with some anger. I dealt with some anger at the beginning. We had not received the best reactions from everyone when they found out we were expecting. You would have thought we were the Duggars the way some folks reacted. "Do you realize this will make 5 children???" (Um, yeah, I do and I even know all their names!) Others went on and on about our age...I'm not decrepit just because I'm over 35! ;) Others simply refused to barely acknowledge it. It hurt my feelings. This was our baby, a precious life. When I look at my other children, which one could I live without? This child was no different.

So when we lost Abigail the thought just would run through my mind, "How can you mourn a life you never celebrated?" Some people would say they were sorry yet their attitude was almost one of relief or dare I say it? "I told you so."

Well, let me tell you. I did not lose my child because I had too many children. I did not lose my child because of my age. I am in good health (and not THAT old lol).

She was perfect. The best the doctor could determine was that there was most likely a mild, undetectable infection or problem with the placenta. It was unavoidable. There was nothing I could have done differently. It could have happened in my first pregnancy or my third. It could have happened had I been age 20 or age 48. It just happened.

Some people turn that anger on God and blame Him. I can honestly say that I never went through that with either miscarriage. I never blamed Him. I did withdraw somewhat though. While I conversed with Him some I found it hard to really pray. I didn't want to read my Bible. I wasn't blaming Him. It was all just part of that withdrawing I told you about. One morning a few weeks later I sat down and read 3 books of the Bible straight through. Conversations gradually grew back into a real prayer life.

Does that shock you? A Christian, a pastor's wife no less, who felt numb with the Lord? Hopefully not. I never turned my back on Christ. He never turned His on me. He just loved me where I was at in my grief and lifted me up when I could not stand.

Whatever we face in life, whether it be disappointments or loss, He is faithful to take care of His children! Praise Him!

Edited to Add: I want to be sure that everyone knows when I spoke of people not being the most supportive, I wasn't referring to good natured joking about our age or number of children. We have a great sense of humor about our family and take joy in the blessings we have. We are always ready to laugh and rejoice in the hilarity of an unexpected large family after being parents to just one child for so long. So if you are a friend that was happy for us and kidded around a bit, don't feel I was speaking of you!

Abigail's Birth

2010-03-25T11:06:00.002-05:00

The following was written the week after Abigail Hope was delivered.

Well, this week has been a rough one. But, I am here and I can still manage a smile. I'll go ahead and apologize for a long post. I wanted to share Abigail's birth with any of you that might like to read it. Also I thought it might be a story that could help someone else who finds themselves in this situation. It is devastating to go in for a doctor's appt. only to be told there is no heartbeat. That is exactly what happened to us Thursday of last week.

I had been through a miscarriage before and never wanted to face that again. In that pregnancy, the baby never developed properly. I had some female problems during that time that made it hard to pinpoint how far along I should have been. But it finally became apparent that something was very wrong. After many weeks I miscarried at home.

Since then I have never taken a pregnancy for granted, assuming that it would turn out fine. Faith, yes. Assumptions, no.

This pregnancy had gone very well. I had all the usual symptoms of pregnancy and had no problems whatsoever. I had been to the doctor the week before and they had done bloodwork which was perfect. Blood pressure perfect. Everything perfect. I met with a patient liason type nurse that same day. It was strange because since it was the first time I was meeting with her I needed to meet with Nurse K. I was scheduled for a meeting with Nurse K on Wednesday. But when I got there I found Andrea. She only worked there on Wednesdays as that was Nurse K's day off. Andrea couldn't understand why they would have sent me in on a Wednesday for my first meeting with them since she wasn't really familiar with how to get me registered with them. But she was a friendly, outgoing woman and she dove into the job. There was another lady there too who was training and in no time we were all laughing and talking. We found out we were all believers and had great conversation about children and family, how the Lord works, you name it. When she saw I wasn't scheduled to come back for several weeks she said she wanted to get me back in sooner than that. So when she finished I had an appt to come back the following Thursday. As I left I wondered how it was they had scheduled me for a Wednesday but thought no more about it.

When I returned the following Thursday I felt great (other than the typical pregnancy fatigue and a small amount of morning sickness) and was still having no problems. The first thing my midwife checked for was the baby's heartbeat. She tried several minutes and from different angles. Nothing. So she went on with the rest of the exam and came back to it to try again. Nothing. So I was sent over to the other office for an ultrasound.

When it began my husband and I noticed two things immediately. No heartbeat and the baby wasn't moving. The technician covered by saying she was measuring the baby, which she did. But I have had enough ultrasounds to know that we should have seen the heartbeat right away. Not only that, but the baby should have been wiggling. Based on the measurements, the baby had died just a few days before, after my previous appointment. We couldn't tell the sex because it was curled in a little ball.

The OB who came in was very kind and understanding. He gave me the options.

*I could wait to see if I went in labor on my own. We live an hour from the hospital and have small children in the home. Not an option.

*I could have a D & E. It is a surgical procedure that the doctor described as brutal. But if I preferred to go to sleep and wake up with everything over, then it was an option. He was not certified to do it but another doctor in the group was.

*The third option was to be induced and deliver the baby.

He told me the dangers involved with each option. Like I said, the first option was out. So was the second option. A D & E is the same procedure used in an abortion. I couldn't think of them doing this to our baby. The doctor shared something with me at this point. He isn't certified because he can't stomach it or doesn't have the heart to do it. They have to piece the baby back together when they finish so they can be sure they got everything.

So my induction would be scheduled for Monday. When the nurse brought us in to schedule the appt. it was the first time I was to hear the words 'fetal demise' but it certainly wasn't the last.

Friday we played in the snow with our children and built a huge snowman. That is the first time I have ever done that in my life! I did not have the heart to tell the younger children. At that point, I didn't even know HOW I was going to do it. The GuitarMan had come home and as far as they were concerned he was home to play with them. I was having some cramping but I overlooked it as much as possible and made the choice to enjoy my family.

It was a hard weekend. I LOOKED pregnant. I FELT pregnant. But there was no life within me. I didn't want to go anywhere for fear someone would ask me when I was due. I was glad for the ice and snow.

Sunday night the contractions became very regular, 5 minutes apart. But it settled down finally. At that point, we decided to go ahead and begin to prepare the girls for what was coming. We told them that the doctors had detected a problem which could make the baby come early. If it came now, it would be too tiny to live. They could understand this from watching the Duggars with their premature baby.

Monday started out cold, windy, and rainy. It was appropriate somehow. I had to be at the hospital at 5:30 am to prep for the induction. It was rather tortuous checking in at the ER. I was just ready to get to a room. The male nurse there couldn't understand why I was not pre-registered if I was there for an induction. I know that it is rare for this to happen in the second trimester but you would think he could have just a little tact. At any rate, when he made his phonecalls it was obvious he finally understood because a look of embarrassment crossed his face and he became subdued.

We finally were placed in a room with what seemed to be a very nervous nurse. She was very shaky and chatty. She kept forgetting what she was doing and dropping things. I felt sorry for her because I knew it was a hard situation and she probably was afraid of me falling apart. When she tried to put the IV in she could not find a vein anywhere. She kept muttering things like, no that one scares me, no, I don't want to try it there, that one will collapse, oh, I just don't know....I'm laying there trying to be polite but thinking, "Lady, please, if you can't do it, don't try!!" She finally got it in but it was in an awkward place up high in my arm, right at the bend and it gave problems the entire time I was in the hospital. Another nurse came in and began to help her. She had to still draw blood. Well, the other nurse couldn't find a vein either and finally had no choice but to take it from the IV. Let's just say if you have a problem with the sight of blood then don't ever stay in the room when THAT is done.

But finally it was done and we were left to wait for the doctor to arrive. I dreaded seeing who my nurse would be and hoped it would be someone who wasn't so nervous.

When the door opened we turned to see Andrea enter the room. Remember the nurse who filled in that we had met? I wondered what she was doing there. Lo and behold, SHE would be my nurse that day! I was so relieved. I had forgotten that she worked Labor and Delivery. She is very kind, very bubbly and has a great faith in the Lord. Best of all, she already knew me, my husband and about our family. I knew that everyone's prayers were real and that God was right there with me.

By the time, the doctor had arrived the nurses had answered any questions we might have. Dr. Phillips warned me that I would most likely not go home the next day as this would be a slow process. I might not deliver until the next night.

Now induction is different in this situation than it is with a full term delivery. In that case, they normally use Pitocin administered by IV. But when it is an early delivery they use a different approach. The doctor took tablets and placed them at the cervix. I had to lie flat for an hour to insure they would not move. The purpose is to soften the cervix and possibly put you into labor. After 8 hours they give you a second smaller dose by mouth. Andrea said it usually took that second dose for most women.

After that it was just a waiting game. I had occasional cramps that gradually built to steady cramps. Once a pattern started emerging I was to let them know so they could put the monitor on. Around 12:30 or 1:00 I told Andrea that the cramps were getting harder and had been for about an hour. She told me to let it go another hour to make sure they didn't go away.

Meanwhile The GuitarMan had been there that morning and had gone back home to get the girls. He kept them with him for a while and then The FisherMan left to get them all some lunch. GuitarMan was going to take the girls to the college to stay with his girlfriend and friends once they finished. He was coming back to the hospital. It was good for them as they had a special day rather than sitting at home wondering about Mama.

Anyway I had started running a fever and having chills along with the cramping. Everyone was sure this was only the beginning so when The FisherMan left I settled under the covers and tried to doze through the cramps and warm up. The pain was just intense enough to keep me from sleeping hard. But dozing I managed until I woke with a start at exactly 2:00 when I felt a sudden gush. I tentatively pulled the covers back, not sure if I would see blood. But instead I realized my water had broken. The nurses there have phones so you can call your nurse direct so I called Andrea. She was there in seconds and I got cleaned up.

Once I was settled in bed once again, monitor attached now, she asked if I wanted her to call the FisherMan. I told her there wasn't any need. It would just worry him and the GuitarMan and I wanted them to relax and eat. She agreed and we decided if my contractions picked up, then she would call.

Oddly enough, my cramps had eased up now. I knew and Andrea warned they would probably increase in intensity now. By now it was 2:25. I had a few small contractions and she tried to find out if there was a pattern. I hadn't noticed one and the contractions were much lighter now but I promised I would call as soon as they picked up.

I felt a little better and I thought maybe I should call my husband after all, just in case things got more intense before he got back. The girls wanted to see me and I didn't want them to walk in on anything. So I gave him a quick call, telling him my water had broken, but I was fine. I told him to call when they got back to the parking lot and I would tell him if it was ok for the littles to come up. After exchanging I love you's we hung up and I turned back to my Doris Day movie.

Just that quick, I sneezed. When I did, I felt it. Reaching down, I felt Abigail Hope's tiny body, still warm from my own. I called Andrea and just said, "I need you." She was there immediately and called The FisherMan. The cord was so thin and short that she couldn't clamp the cord. When she tried to contact the doctor, she was in an emergency C-section for twins. So another nurse came in and together they worked to clamp and cut the cord.

Eventually after pushing for a while the placenta passed. Andrea was fairly sure that it was intact because I wasn't bleeding heavily or anything. She returned every 5 or 10 minutes to massage my uterus. Suddenly more placenta came. Now the pushing really began. Somehow it was more exhausting than delivering my babies. I grew tired and weak and yet nothing was coming. About that time the doctor arrived and was concerned.

She worked and worked to try to deliver the placenta. I have delivered 4 babies and I have never had my uterus massaged like that! She practically did handstands! It was very painful! Andrea had marveled at my high pain tolerance earlier...I was wishing at this point that I had accepted the epidural! She even tried to remove the placenta internally. But no more placenta emerged and she ordered the ultrasound. When she performed it, she found that the placenta had torn into several pieces and part of it was retained. She would have to surgically remove it.

By now my oldest son had gotten back. He and my husband looked scared to death. I wasn't scared of the surgery itself, but I was terrified of being put to sleep!

Andrea had already inquired as to whether we wanted to see the baby. I desperately wanted to. The FisherMan and GuitarMan desperately did NOT want to. With surgery being necessary, it would be several hours before I would return to my room. Surgery was ready for me and had already called. But Andrea, knowing this would be my only chance to see and hold the baby, put them off each time and went to get her.

When she returned she let my guys step out. Then she brought her to me cradled in a soft cloth. Abigail's tiny, lifeless form was smaller than Andrea's hand. Together we marveled at God's marvelous work. She was perfectly formed for her gestational age. Have you ever wondered about their little bodies based on the drawings and ultrasounds? The arms were already defined and ended in tiny hands with long fingers. Her little tummy was round and full. The shape of her head was familiar, reminding me of my other precious newborns. I stroked her body, no longer warm, but ice cold and knew I would see her again some day. Reluctantly, I let her go.

Since then we have all continued to let her go, ever so reluctantly. It has been five weeks and my girls speak of Abigail often, wishing aloud that she could be here with us. They say Jesus is taking care of her for us. I would venture to say He's taking care of all of us. :)

Cookin Up Pie...or Not

2010-03-11T12:26:00.003-06:00

In order to fully appreciate this you have to imagine this conversation with the cutest little 5 year old Southern accent.

LadyBug: Hey, Mama, you know what's gross?

Mama: What?

LadyBug: Pickle pie.

Yeah, that is pretty gross. But my guess is there is some great cook out there that could actually make it good!

I think we'll stick to the store bought no-bake cheesecake I have planned for dessert tonight LOL!

Where Ya Been, EM?

2010-03-10T14:42:00.005-06:00

Sorry I haven't been around so much lately. It isn't that I haven't had anything to blog. I had plenty of posts in my head. But there's been so much happening here. The process of sitting down and getting complete, coherent thoughts typed out was just too much to deal with!

When I came home from the hospital we immediately launched into the swine flu with all three younger children. I'm still not sure where they wound up with it. My suspicion is that they picked it up when we were in the doctor's office the previous week with Cornbread. He was diagnosed with pre asthma.

Those were some tiring days as I already blogged about. I had a very rough time recovering physically. Then I broke/dislocated my toe. Normally a little funny if it is only a slight break but not when you're already in pain!

I feel like I am forgetting some other trial that was thrown in there but with our latest it really isn't any wonder. We had quite the scare with LadyBug last week. She complained Tuesday night of a stomach ache but she ate fine and continued to play so I thought nothing of it. She didn't sleep well that night and Wednesday morning she slept late. When she got up she still had the tummyache. I figured we might be facing another virus.

I was feeling a little better and decided to tackle cleaning up the kitchen and cleaning the oven. She was in the living room curled up on the couch. I heard her crying and came to check on her. Cornbread, sensing she didn't feel well, was on the couch with her and she was screaming for me to get him off her, it hurt. The thing is he wasn't on her but was beside her. Just touching her was hurting that badly. I moved him and when I checked her stomach I realized she had a fever (101 and went up to 103). My first thought was appendicitis.

Once the doctor saw her he thought the same thing. But the other 2 doctors who saw her were undecided. When her urine came back abnormal he decided to treat it as a UTI but the told us to keep the possibility of appendicitis in the back of our minds and rush her back if she worsened.

The next day the doctor called to check on her because he was worried about her. At that point her fever was 104 and I was about to call them. It wound up that it was a serious kidney infection. She never did develop any of the normal signs of a bladder infection (burning, urgency, frequent urination). But today was the first day she hasn't had spasms of pain. It has really been an ordeal for the poor baby.

She has never been diagnosed with an infection before. But she has had other symptoms that possibly point to a problem. With the unusual severity of this infection the doctors have scheduled a renal ultrasound and VCUG (where they run dye to check for reflux - urine backs up from the bladder into the kidney) While I hope everything is fine I am thankful they are taking it seriously.

In the midst of all this I've been dealing with infection. Thankfully antibiotics are working so I am better.

Cornbread had seemed to respond well to the medication but over the last few days the wheezing had returned and was happening even more often. I haven't been able to do a lot in the house so it's been a mess, sad to say. Also the dust was getting pretty bad. It doesn't help that my steam cleaner died and my vacuum cleaner was limping along. The handle literally came off in my hand recently LOL! It is 8 years old and I've been unable to find a replacement filter for it so it's demise was inevitable.

Enter tax refund! Thank you. Lord! I now have a vacuum cleaner with washable filters (except for the standard Hepa filter) and a new steam cleaner. Nothing fancy but it will sure get the dust out of the carpet! I'm hoping that will help little guy. If I don't see improvement in the next couple of days I'll be calling the doctor back.

So I've been busy trying to restore order in the chaos. We are all looking forward to orderly, fresh rooms, clean laundry, and some good home cooked meals. ;) Me, I'm looking forward to some peaceful days without the trials and just returning to normal life. Normal....gee, what's that anyway?

An Unexpected Laugh

2010-02-23T22:11:00.003-06:00

I was doing a little visiting on different blogs tonight and several mentioned cooking. I am still recovering and still finding it hard to be on my feet very much. Naturally I have my ups and downs as I deal with the aftermath of everything that has happened. I am finding that having to wait on my physical recovery is not helping in other areas. My natural tendency when things feel out of control or I am upset on the inside is to try to restore order on the outside. It feels good to see order emerge from chaos, the house start to feel like a home, a nice meal come together. Right now I am having to be patient!

Well, anyway...I was visiting over at my bloggy friend's Mrs. B's, and she was talking about menus. She mentioned being in S. Texas and how ball season would be starting up soon. Y'all....I was immediately taken back years and years....

I literally LOL!!

See back when my husband and I were first married he worked construction at the oil refineries and we were in Texas City, Texas. It's not too far from Galveston and we spent many a weekend strolling the beaches there. This was back when you had East Beach and West Beach. East Beach was built up and more commercial. We always went to West Beach because there was nothing out there. Eventually they built it up too and you had to pay to get out to the beach. It was kind of heartbreaking to see the footage of Galveston following the hurricane last year. Lots of memories there.

Anyway. Texas City. Memories. Cooking. Just married. LOL! Wow, soooo many memories! There was the time my sister-in-law was visiting and decided to teach me how to make gravy. She was using a paper bag for some reason and accidentally laid it on the eye of the stove, started a fire, oh yes, it was all very exciting and VERY hilarious! Naturally we never let her forget it!

Then there was the time we bought the huge bag of live crawfish to boil. I know, CRAYfish. ;) Well, we put them in the water and they started escaping all over our tiny apartment kitchen! I mean we had them crawling on the floor, up the cabinet, their little claws clicking away! I felt sort of guilty but that was before I tasted them!

Oh, and the time we decided to go gigging for flounder. Now that was a sight!

Isn't it neat when some little something can take you back to another time and place? It might be a sound or a song on the radio, or a smell....or Mrs. B's menu. ;) You never even meant to do that, Mrs. B, but the laugh did me good!

Ponderings and the Latest

2010-02-22T10:20:00.004-06:00

Do your pets love you? I have a cat that has been with us for 15 years now. She loves us so much that she tries to run out the door any chance she gets lol. Well, yesterday she was successful and made it out the door. I tried to get her but she managed to stay two steps ahead of me, just out of reach, and finally slipped into the underbrush of the woods. I took a look at the thick leaves on the ground, thought of the mild temperatures we had the last couple of days, the critters, slithery in particular, and I thought, "Oh, well, Tinkerbell you are on your own!"

Later I went out and hollered, "kitty, kitty" like crazy but was met with nothing but the barking of the neighbor's dogs. Does anyone else feel a little foolish when having to do that? "Heeere Kitty Kitty!!!" at the top of your lungs. Silence. I felt so silly wandering around in the dark calling for this cat! One time our other cat went missing for almost a week and we kept doing that only to realize he was sitting in the woods watching us!

Well, Tink, didn't come back and when I heard the pouring rain this morning along with the thunder I pictured the poor little old thing in the woods drowning. The FisherMan found her this morning in the yard trying to stay dry huddled under the lean-to on the shed.

I wonder why she tries to so hard to run only to return always scared and meowing, starving to death. Hasn't she learned yet? She has it made with a comfortable home, a full food dish, plenty of water and there's always someone willing to give her a scratch on the back. But, still, every so often the alley cat in her rises up and she gets the itch to run and explore outside. The FisherMan says you can't fix stupid.

It's a little like us with our Lord. It's like we get bored with the safety or something and jump out in our own independence. Heads held high we saunter off determined to complete our own agenda without His interference. As He reaches out to us we run, trying to stay out of reach. We run back to what we once knew. But then the storms come and we run back to Him crying, scared, and starved for his Word. He finds us, huddling under the pitiful shelter of the world.

Why don't we ever learn? Haven't we been hurt by the world enough? Haven't we tired of looking for excitement in all the wrong places? When we look around at how He has blessed us, why do we always dissect it to find the bad? Why do we seem to want to be dissatisfied with what He gives us?

Just a little something to think on. :)

For those that have been wondering, I am doing ok, I suppose. Still having a lot of pain which I wasn't expecting. But I went through a delivery then the surgery to remove the torn, retained placenta. So I guess it makes sense to have to recover and it would take some time.

All the kids have been sick with flu. I came home Tuesday from the hospital to a sick house! For anyone who isn't aware, Tamiflu makes them ill tempered! It says in the insert that it may cause behavioral changes, particularly in children. It's true! between being cranky from just being sick then the medication, my littles have been very irritable. I felt soooooo sorry for them because they really couldn't help it! They finished it yesterday though and hopefully they will get back to themselves soon. They, like us, are also dealing with trying to understand that we won't have a new baby in the house. It takes patience and love to help them through it because they don't always know how to articulate their feelings and fears.

I am working on a post about Abigail's birth. I have been writing it in spurts. I will go ahead and warn you that it might be long. But I know when I was hit by the news, reading someone else's story would have helped me. You just don't know what to expect. So I am sharing the physical side of it, what went on in the hospital, how we told our girls...just all of it in the hopes it might help someone else. Also I really don't want to forget any of it. I am the type who sometimes blocks out memories. I can't tell you a lot about funerals of loved ones etc. So I would like for her story to all be written down, just for Abigail. When I finish it and I'm ready, I will post it.

Abigail's Footprints

2010-02-17T10:53:00.002-06:00

I'm sorry for the poor quality of the photo. I wanted to scan it but my scanner is broken. So I took a picture instead so I could share it with you. They are so tiny and sweet!

Update

2010-02-15T23:11:00.004-06:00

Abigail Hope was born at 2:30 this afternoon. Thank you everyone for your prayers for us. I can truly say I felt the presence of the Lord with me the entire time. Later I hope I can share with you all the little ways that God expressed Himself in this difficult time.

Edited to add: I forgot to tell you but her name means "my father's joy and hope"

A Comforting Gift

2010-02-14T21:16:00.004-06:00

Following my doctor visit last week this song just kept running through my mind. Since then I find myself returning to it and singing it, sometimes aloud, sometimes in prayer, and sometimes in my heart. I believe God gave it to me to comfort and strengthen me during this loss.

Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

Need Prayers

2010-02-12T08:36:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I went to my regular doctor's appt. They could not find the baby's heartbeat. Ultrasound showed that for reasons that are simply unknown right now, the baby has died. If I do not deliver on my own by Monday, then I will be induced. We know that God has a purpose in every life, no matter how short.

Right now, there are a jumble of feelings. I'm sure the coming days will be no different. We went to my son and told him in person. He came on home as he wants to be here for all of us, particularly FlowerChild, as she leans on him so much. We haven't told the girls yet as we just aren't sure how to handle that at this point. Today in the South the snow is falling and they feel like it is Christmas. I would rather let them have that and watch their delight as they play. It's not important when they find out so much as it is that I find the right way to tell them. I will probably come at it from the direction of a premature birth or that the baby is sick. There is no easy way.

Please just pray for us as this is a difficult time. I appreciate knowing that I have friends all over, some I have never even met in person, that care about our family and are lifting us up in prayer. Thank you!

A Peek In My Window

2010-02-09T10:21:00.003-06:00

Here is what you would find today.

You would see me....well, at the moment on the computer obviously. Otherwise, I've been in the rocking chair giving reading lessons. I've also been flitting back and forth to the laundry room.

You might see the children....one in my lap reading. The other two playing together, possibly quietly, possibly not. :) Right now they are finishing up a snack while they watch Letter Factory. A little young for FlowerChild since she already reads so well so she is looking through a catalogue as she eats.

In the kitchen...I cooked a chicken in the crockpot last night. It smells so good in there! I am going to make chicken and dumplins for supper.

We are...mostly still in our jammies. It is cold and rainy and there is just something comfy about staying in them. I say mostly because LadyBug has dressed herself in a bright red shirt and a fuchsia plaid skirt.

And now...they are finished with their snack and movie. I am going to put in a reading computer game for LadyBug while FlowerChild does some of her studies. Oh, my they have turned restless and grumpy in a flash lol....let me run!

Power Bills

2010-02-04T13:24:00.004-06:00

We lucked out last month on our power bill. We received a credit on our bill which helped tremendously. A lot of folks were shocked at how high their bills were, however. I can't blame them! Some of the figures I heard were outrageous! $500-600, one even $1200!

One thing that got me was that many of these people work outside the home and their children are in school or daycare so the house stands empty all day. Not only that, but their families are much smaller so things like the washer, dryer, or stove would not be used as frequently. Shouldn't their bill be lower than ours?

I think it has everyone trying to come up with ways to save on power. There are some things that are a given. Good insulation and windows go a long way towards helping lower a bill. When we first moved into our home the windows were very old. Some were cracked or even broken. The church eventually replaced them which was a huge blessing! But what were we to do in the meantime? Well, one way is to buy the heavy duty plastic and staple it over the windows. The drawback is that you've got all the staples to contend with and it leaves you unable to see clearly out the windows. My husband found an alternative though. We were a little skeptical at first. It is a thin plastic that is absolutely clear. You stretch it across the window and use a hair dryer to make it adhere tightly against the window frame. Once applied you can't tell it is even there! But it helped so much on keeping the heat indoors! So we were convinced after that.

It also stands to reason that keeping your thermostat turned down will also help. But I've found that people's ideas vary when it comes to defining keeping it down. Some people's homes can get by at 68 and still be comfortable. Then I've heard some people say they couldn't understand why their bill was so high since they only keep it at 72. So I say figure out what temperature is best for your home and then leave it there. I don't think it helps to constantly be turning it up and down because the unit just has to work to get it back to the right temp. I don't see where it really saves anything. However we do love those mild days when we can turn ours off completely and raise the windows!

One thing many people do is turn off lights. Now that is a good thing but you need to remember that with the new florescent bulbs the rules change. With the old light bulbs the rule is that if you will be gone from the room longer than 5 minutes, turn the light off. Less than that, leave it on because you will use more electricity flipping the switch back on. With the new bulbs, that time is extended to 15 minutes. That's right. If you will be back in 15 minutes or less, then leave the light on! It takes more electricity for the bulb to heat back up than it does to just leave it on.

Another thing you see people argue over is whether it takes more to handwash or to use the dishwasher. I can't cite where I've seen it as I am a voracious reader, then can't remember where I read it lol. But it has been from more than one source. It takes more electricity to handwash dishes in hot water several times a day than it does to run a dishwasher (on an energy efficient setting) once a day. It makes sense when you think about the hot water heater having to work several times.

All in all, I think it comes down to what is important to you and your family. Some things might be a tradeoff. For instance, our laundry room is outside and the hot water heater is out there, too. I worry about frozen pipes. So when the nights are particularly cold I will usually do a couple of loads of laundry before bed so the dryer will run and heat it up. I also leave a light on. It's not much but it gives off a little heat. I figure the few cents the light bulb will cost is far better than busted pipes!

We also use nightlights and leave a couple of lights on in the house. Once again it's worth a few extra cents to reassure the children in the middle of the night.

Hopefully the weather will warm up soon so everyone will require less heat and that will surely help on these high bills. :)

The Season of Pregnancy (updated)

2010-02-02T12:18:00.004-06:00

I know. I have been neglecting this blog. Horribly. That's not the only thing that has been thrown by the wayside lately! It is only for a season though. Pregnancy means you must be patient with yourself and accept that sometimes you must let things slide. That also means that you have to plan in order to conserve your energy. I know if I am going somewhere later today then I don't need to rush around and try to get a lot done in the morning. Priorities must be in order.

Although the morning sickness is better it isn't totally gone at this point. Whoever named it that anyway? The main thing I have been dealing with is fatigue. My blog shows it. My laundry shows it. My house shows it. Ack, everywhere shows it! I simply do not have the energy to do the bending up and down required to truly clean up, do laundry, and the vacuuming/sweeping etc. It's quite depressing actually!

So I do a little here, do a little there. I manage the necessities such as homeschooling, cooking, and doing laundry a little at a time...or when we run out of towels or clothing lol!

Today I am determined to make a dent in some of the clutter.

PROBLEM: a mess in every room!

STRATEGY: work in 15 - 20 minute increments with water breaks in between

Has it worked? Well, we shall see as the day goes on. I've been working in the girls' room and that really isn't a fair room to assess. It has been a wreck ever since The GuitarMan was home for Christmas! They do very well at cleaning up when the rules of one activity at a time are adhered to. But when everything gets pulled out they get overwhelmed and have no idea how to clean it up. So the mess has grown as the wait for Mama's intervention has endured, sigh. Hopefully I can finish it in the next little while though and some of the other rooms might not take as long. Although as I look around I see a lot of things that are on hold waiting for me!

I will update you! ;) In the meantime, it is time for lunch, then some Math.

Ok, end of the day and I told you I would check in and update how my efforts went (if anyone cares lol). Oh well it makes me feel better to see it written out! ;)

I didn't do everything I had hoped to do. But I finished the girls' room! I started on one side of the room and did little sections off and on all day. It feels good to have one room cleaned. I figure I will take a room at a time and work my way through the house. Maybe after that I will be ready to take on the closets lol.

Oh and I managed to do a couple of loads of laundry, cooked a nutritious lunch (blackened salmon fillet, cooked in olive oil, over a green salad with carrot sticks), cooked a not so nutritious supper (sloppy joes and tater tots lol), bathed all the children, and even got them to bed on time.

I started out the day with visions of order being restored throughout the house. I had to lower my expectations and be happy with a clean bedroom. The rest will come. If you are putting pressure on yourself today to be perfect in some area, whether it is housekeeping, homeschooling, weight, or career....step back and make sure you go slow, giving yourself time to do the job right. Then build upon it. You will reach your goal! God bless! :)

The Grass is Always Greener

2010-01-23T07:29:00.002-06:00

Are you contented? Or do you constantly find yourself daydreaming of how much better life would be if only.....

I would imagine we all do it from time to time. But I don't want to slip into making that a habit. I want to be sure that I live in constant gratitude for the blessings in my life. If I let that other kind of thinking in I'm afraid it will rob me of the satisfaction found in today.

I'm sure you've seen people who spend months or years saying if I just had THIS, if I just lived HERE, if only this person would just do THAT.....life would be grand. Then when they get it they are miserable! Ha, the next thing you know, they are dreaming of what they had in the first place!

A single person just wants to be married. Then when their spouse is not the picture of perfection they dreamed of, they think only of being single again.

Childless couples dream of having their own brood. Then when they get it, they wish the kids would grow up and move out.

The city folk wish they were in the country. When they get it, they are bored.

The country folk want to be in the city. When they get it, they wish for some peace and quiet.

A member of a large church wishes they were in a smaller congregation so they would not be lost in the crowd, they could really get to know people. When they do, they resent those hypocritical (ie human) people they find there.

A member of a small church wishes for a mega church so they could have more to do. When they get it, they resent the fast pace of activity.

Family wants to be closer to family. Family wishes they were further away.

This one wants a job. That one wants to quit.

This one has a job but wants a different one. They get it, but still yearn for yet another.

And it goes on and on.....

I suppose the old saying, "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it" could apply here. The scriptures warn us that we should learn to be content in all circumstances.

So I think it might be good to start living more for each moment and stop wishing our lives away. I don't mean to do away with ambition or to never make changes. But more that we need to stop putting happiness on hold, waiting for the perfect circumstances to happen or people to live to our standard of perfection before we will agree to be happy.

Life is short. What if you are living your last days and don't know it? Do you really want to live them wishing for something else? Overlooking the blessings you have in life because they aren't perfect? Those blessings may be material blessings or of the people variety but either way there is seldom perfection to be found. Don't hold off contentment and joy waiting on it.

I just imagine that when it comes down to it, you probably have your own shortcomings, too. But when we live our lives so ready to hop on other people's imperfections, we usually wind up lonely and....discontented.

Enjoy what you have! Enjoy who you have!

Busy Day and Observations

2010-01-20T06:44:00.003-06:00

This week was thrown off a bit, due to the holiday Monday. To make matters worse, I completely forgot that Monday even was a holiday! So my day was really thrown off when I saw that empty bank parking lot and realized it! lol

This meant that banking and shopping was pushed to Tuesday. However we also needed to make a trip to Financial Aid at my son's college. This made for a busy day! But it was a good visit and the children really enjoyed it. They adore their brother and his circle of friends always manages to make them the center of attention. Yesterday when brother thought we had left, he was surprised to walk out of his dorm room and see us still there. The children had been playing with his friends and having such fun that we had not managed to leave yet, despite our previous goodbyes to him. Hide and Seek, I Spy, Story Rounds, playing in the dirt, tag....that crew managed to squeeze in a lot of fun!

However it wasn't just the children that caused a delay. At one point I heard someone call my name and turned to find a girl that had worked for me at the college years ago. It was nice to see an old friend and talk of the Lord's work in our lives. I met her sister who is a student there and she met my all grown up son, whom she remembered as just a little fellow. It was a real encouragement to get to talk for a while.

Once we pulled ourselves away from campus we headed back to the big city for The FisherMan to do hospital visitation. Some people find that to be uncomfortable but it is a part of ministry that he loves.

From there we got the kiddos a bite to eat and let them play on the playland. I even managed to run into an old friend there as well. God also opened up the opportunity to talk with a young mom who was traveling through to the beach. Hopefully I was able to offer some hope and encouragement to her as she was struggling with some insecurities as a mom and wife.

After all this we headed to Walmart...I was ready for bed! But duty called and I knew it had to be done. Thus began the looks of pity and stares from people who act as though they have never seen a family lol. With my young children in tow, I am accustomed to looks from many and questions or opinions from the bold. But since my pregnancy is showing it has turned to downright stares, condescending looks, and statements such as "you poor thing!" or "you've sure got your hands full!"

One thing I've also noticed is that the reactions tend to be different if I do not have all my children with me. Just Cornbread? Oh, I get the whole thing of how cute he is and people try to stop and talk to the sweet little fellow. Tender smiles are cast my way.

Just my girls? Lots of people wonder if they are twins. Some pay no attention and the rest might say something about me having a lot of help there or what pretty girls I have.

All of them? Pity, disdain or admiration lol.

What is with our country's outlook on children? Many here in the Bible belt will gladly go to church or quote scripture but conveniently leave out the ones that pertain to children being a blessing and gift from God. Two children is assumed to be okay for the most part, as long as they aren't too close together. Three, it is often assumed one of two things. If the first two children are the same sex you must have been trying one last time for the opposite OR oops, you messed up but have probably righted your big mistake and someone is now fixed.

Which leads me to another little observation. Have you noticed that guys will run at the mention of a period or hot flash, yet many think nothing of discussing a woman getting her tubes tied or worse, them getting the old snip-snip? Men, just for the record...it isn't something most women really want to picture!

And honestly it isn't really anyone's business what decision my husband and I (or you and yours) make in that department. Y'all, complete strangers think nothing of coming up and asking what your plans are, who's getting fixed? Folks think nothing of discussing in front of us who should be the one to have it done. Shouldn't that be sort of private? I mean, do you also want to know if I have any kidney stones? growths that need removing? unsightly hair?

:) I know, I'm exaggerating, but you get my drift.

I suppose in this day and age very little is private or sacred anymore. But maybe we should step back, think on it, and find little ways to change our thinking. Maybe we should also begin looking at more through God's eyes rather than the world's politically correct filter.

But don't get me started. ;)

Hidden Beauty

2010-01-16T08:24:00.006-06:00

Many years ago my husband and I acquired an old beat up dresser. It was an ugly shade of pale lime green that made you wonder what the previous owners had been thinking. We decided we wanted to refinish it. So began a painstaking time consuming project. At times we were even afraid that we might be ruining it.

Everyday we would lug this heavy piece of furniture outside and slave away at our hidden treasure. When we had that day's work completed we would yank and tug it back indoors. It required slathering on the paint stripper and scraping off layer after layer of paint. Lime green was only the tip of the iceberg. There were many other layers of colors underneath. Dark green, pink, white, you name it. Paint is meant to beautify and protect but when it is thoughtlessly applied it leaves behind a mess. This made what seemed to be a small job become much more involved. There were also lots of little edges and curves that needed every speck of paint removed. It was hard but necessary because we wanted to stain it and make it look like a new piece. What was left behind when we finished was dull, faded wood. Tired somehow. There were some scars and imperfections that no amount of sanding would remove.

Then we applied the stain and the clear polyurethane over that. A beautiful piece of furniture emerged. The wood that had looked so worn became a rich warm oak. The scars and little imperfections darkened to bring character and interest. It's shiny finish revealed our image in it.

Life is not unlike that old dresser.

God has to do some pulling and tugging on us to get us to a place He can work on us. Sometimes the process God uses to strip away the ugly layers hurts. The disappointments, discouraging times, trials....it somehow all works together for good. It can be hard to understand how anything beautiful could come from something so painful. At other times it may feel as though the stripping away has ruined your life. What is left behind might appear to be faded, dull, and just plain tired. Have you ever been through trying times that left you feeling this way?

People you thought you could trust and depend on, pulled back and let you down.

There was no one to share your burden with.

You felt worn down, overwhelmed and misunderstood.

Perhaps it has always been up to you to be the strong one.

Maybe you have always been expected to be the encourager.

Or maybe you are expected to have the perfect life so when you try to share the imperfections, others think you have nothing to complain about.

They may listen for a moment and walk away, uninterested in helping or even just listening.

You learned to hold it in most of the time, except for when it bubbled over. Even then, no one seemed to see the heavy load you bore, interpreting it instead as anger. (If you are a woman, they may have even labeled it hormones and brushed you off. ;)

Trial after trial washed over you until you felt hopeless to find a way out.

You were left feeling alone. Everything stripped away. Vulnerable. Just you and the Lord because no one else cared enough to get close, to be there for the positive and the negative that life brings.

But as painful as those times might be, something beautiful emerges from it. Layers of self reliance are stripped away. Years of seeing yourself through other's eyes, gone. Though feeling no one really cares hurts, it can cause you to cease caring so much about other's opinions. You learn to draw close to your Savior because He is all you have. Broken, bare and scarred you lay before Him with nothing to offer.

It is only then that the Master can truly begin to craft you into something new. Instead of pouring your heart out to friends or family you learn the power of prayer and the release of laying everything at His feet. When the storms of tears end you feel the peace only He can give. No amount of phone calls or conversation can equal that. Instead of carrying ugly scars you carry experiences that give you character and compassion. The sloppily applied paint becomes a deep, rich finish that reflects His image.

Perhaps you are in a season of refinishing. If so, I don't imagine you have looked at it that way. I know how hard it can be when you feel as though it is a windy day and you are in the water's edge at the ocean. The waves come faster and harder until it can be hard to stand and you eventually are knocked to your knees, with your eyes stinging in the saltwater, sputtering and coughing as you try to catch your breath between the rush of waves.

But God is at work! You don't have to feel it for it to be truth. I'll say that again. You don't have to feel it for it to be truth. Know that God loves you and even though the enemy may mean these times for harm, God is working it out for good in your life. He is steadily working and making you into a gorgeous, new treasure. He sees through all the old ugly layers you applied and knows something wonderful can come of it. Now you just need to catch that vision for your life and once again be filled with....hope.

The Woes of Grocery Shopping

2010-01-12T09:35:00.003-06:00

Stocking a pantry, filling a freezer or refrigerator...it sounds like such a simple, neat little job, doesn't it? I remember when we were first married, it really was! $40 a week would feed us like royalty. I don't remember preparing menus. The FisherMan and I would go to the local grocery store (no Walmart then) and hit the meat counter first. After deciding on meats we would decide what side items we might like for the week. It was a happy little trip resulting in a full kitchen.

But the years go by and bring bills, children, and inflation. The grocery bill climbs like all the other bills. Now when I buy groceries I also have a lot more to take into account. Keeping the total money spent is a constant challenge. It can take $40 just to buy household and personal products! Different tastes must be respected. Our household has those that dislike meat all the way to those that would love it at every meal. I have pasta lovers and pasta haters. This one must have salad that one doesn't care for it. One loves chicken noodle another tomato soup. One likes sweet another salty. And while I can see where people are coming from when they say, "They can eat whatever I cook!" still....

....well I remember a time when I was in preschool. Breakfast was served and I wound up with oatmeal. Plain oatmeal. I think I may have even asked for it. That is when I discovered that plain oatmeal gags me. But rather than allowing me to eat within the allotted time and then taking away the unfinished portion, the teacher decided to force me to eat it. Maybe because I did ask for it? I still remember sitting there resolutely while the other children played. Anyone that knows me, knows I have a quietly, determined, stubborn streak. I never did finish the oatmeal. But I was left with the memory and now I can't see forcing my children to eat something that they just really don't like. There is a difference between not particularly loving peas but can tolerate them OR grimacing your way through a casserole that grosses you out. So I try to discern the difference and encourage my children to try new things and every so often try things they think they don't like, in case their tastes have changed. The GuitarMan has never cared for pasta of any kind. So we have it when he isn't home. However he has finally come around to macaroni and cheese, so I suppose that is a victory. While I don't fix separate meals for everyone I'm not above keeping some chicken on hand to substitute or allowing a PB&J.

So when I hit the grocery store it can really be a balancing act. How to feed this large family healthy, frugal meals?? How to include the fruits and vegetables they need without breaking the bank?? I mean, have you noticed that anytime something is deemed "healthy" the price automatically shoots up? What about snacks?? How to please everyone?? (ha, ha!)

I read these blogs and they say they feed their family of 8 or 10 people off of $60 a week. But it's usually items like soaked oatmeal (um, already covered THAT!), lentil soup, or some such. Does no one eat things like meat loaf or mashed potatoes anymore? BBQ chicken and baked beans?

Well, this post won't tell you how to shop or plan a menu. It's more for venting about a normal household. So if you have been looking at some of the perfect homemaker blogs out there lately and wondering what you are doing wrong at the grocery store...well, probably nothing. Your household is YOURS. Don't try to force your husband to eat soaked this or that if he is of the meat and potatoes variety. Make gradual little changes to improve his habits. If your children are picky they are just children. Keep trying.

Just don't try to be someone else. :)

Try to make a plan when you shop. And when you pass other moms in the grocery store with little frowns, furiously figuring on their grocery list, smile and realize it's all worth it for those you love.

Such a Little Lady!

2010-01-10T13:37:00.003-06:00

What a busy week it has been! Homeschooling, grocery shopping, dental appointments, football (Roll Tide!), you name it! We baked cupcakes and I let the children have a blast decorating them any way they pleased. In fact, I just enjoyed eating one!

Friday, the GuitarMan happened to mention that my cousin had a college basketball game on Saturday. He thought I already knew about it. Well, we got all the details and thus was put together an impromptu trip to the bigger city to watch him play. Saturday morning I did some laundry and cut The FisherMan's hair. After that I bathed the children and got them dressed. Imagine my delight when I emerged from the bathroom to find that my sweet husband had finished cooking lunch, fixed all the children's plates, and even packed the diaper bag! Oh, that man does know how to sweep me off my feet!

We had a great time and the game was a nailbiter with my cousin's team grabbing the win after going into overtime. The children enjoyed it. FlowerChild watched the game some and when she grew bored with that would pull out an old reading book. She was so cute with her little pink nails, dangling earrings, and crossed legs! So grown up! She grew up going to her older brother's basketball games. Back then I would pack toys, snacks, books, dolls, coloring books, crayons, you name it in the hopes that she would remain entertained. She was quite the active child!

I will never forget the time a Hotwheel car was inadvertently placed in the bag. FlowerChild was probably 2 or 3 at the time. She was playing happily one minute but then the dreaded curiosity took over. You know how children love to discover cause and effect. There we were at a home game, towards the top of the bleachers (it was easier to keep her contained lol) when suddenly she stands up and I see her arm swing, then a Hotwheel car went sailing all the way down into the crowd below us! I swear it was like slow motion. I could hear myself screaming, "Nooooo...." to no avail. It landed in the midst of a very irate crowd of fans. They all turned as one to glare up at us. One of them began lecturing us from below in a loud voice as he frowned disapprovingly. All of them had sons and daughters playing but apparently they had never been small children.

I was horribly embarrassed at the time but obviously I laugh hysterically these days when I think about it. She threw her share of tantrums with those late nights and long car rides. But she is 7 now and yesterday she sat through a 2 hour car ride and the ballgame without the first whimper. So if you are the parent of a young child whose behavior can sometimes make you cringe, take heart! Keep on loving them, keep on training and explaining, and it will all come together for you. Can she still throw a fit? Well, she is female! But they all grow up. Don't let the training times rob you of the joy of those growing up years. :)

What's for Supper, Mama?

2010-01-08T14:41:00.003-06:00

This week's menu...not too fancy as I get tired in the evenings. :) Also I always keep salad fixins ready so we can throw in a salad along with any meal. Sometimes it is planned on the menu and otherwise it's just always available along with whatever I fix.

MONDAY + BUSY DAY=

McDonald"s

TUESDAY

grilled ribs

macaroni and cheese

stringbeans

cornbread

WEDNESDAY

spaghetti

garlic bread

THURSDAY

boneless wings (plain for the little ones, homemade sauce for us)

oven fries

FRIDAY

cheesy potato soup

SATURDAY

roasted chicken

potatoes (whatever we are in the mood for - baked, mashed, roasted, etc)

fresh peas (frozen from the garden)

cornbread (because my husband can't eat beans or peas without cornbread lol)

SUNDAY

L) leftovers

S) tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches

The Rest of the Story

2010-01-04T07:11:00.003-06:00

You would think after this many years of marriage that I would have heard every story there is to tell from my husband. But the one thing that never changes is that ability of his to pop out with the unexpected.

Yesterday after church he shared about the time when he lived in Mississippi and he walked outside and heard someone screaming. Following the sound, his eyes traveled upward. There above him was a sight to behold. A little boy was tied in a golf bag and swung precariously in a tree! His three older brothers had tied him in the bag, hoisted him into the tree and left him there!

Now I don't know how he eventually got the little fellow down. It didn't actually cross my mind to ask. But it did get me to thinking. So hang with me for a minute. ;)

All this time of knowing this person so well and I never had heard this story. How many people are there in your life that you don't know all their stories? I know, improper grammar but still, you get my drift.

How many relationships are you missing out on? How many stories are you unaware of, whether they be funny or sad? Maybe you know the stories that lie on the surface. But you have no idea what the deeper plot actually held. And you are missing out on a blessing because of it.

Sometimes listening to the surface stories (perhaps along with the accompanying gossip) means you only see the scar and you know nothing of the pain that caused it. Have you ever been told things about someone you don't know very well? It causes you to form an opinion of them. Then later you have the opportunity to get to know them better and you think, "Hmmm, they're pretty cool. That doesn't match up somehow with what I thought!" Were you brave enough to forge ahead and get to know them on a deeper level? Or despite the intrigue, did you go ahead and stick with your original impression, based on what you were told or what you assumed?

If you are basing your perceptions of others based on what you've been told, I want to urge you to take the time to get to know them for yourself. Many times when people paint a negative picture it's because they have their own agenda. If this person looks bad it will hide my faults in the situation. The thought might not be stated that clearly but it is at the root. So they give their version to this one, who passes it on, who tells you, and the next thing you know you have a surface story free of pesky details that would only serve to flesh it out to truth!

It happens in school, the workplace, the community, churches, and even in families. (everyone knows the black sheep, right?) Meanwhile, those deeper stories are carried around in the hearts of loving people who have a lot to offer. Look around you. Who are you missing out on? Who are your children missing out on?

All that because years ago some mean little boys played a prank on their younger brother! :)

Happy New Year!

2010-01-02T06:44:00.003-06:00

Hope everyone has had a wonderful time through the holidays. We suffered with a terrible stomach virus the week leading up to Christmas and The GuitarMan finally caught it during the night Christmas Eve. The rest of us were still recovering from it at that point so our Christmas dinner was a little scant.

I decided to make up for it yesterday! We had the usual black eye peas but this year I decided to forgo the collard greens. This is really unheard of in the South but I just didn't think I could face a big pot of leftover greens to deal with. Supposedly you need the greens for money the following year. Well, it's never worked up until now so maybe doing the reverse will work for us, we'll see lol!

I also cooked a ham with macaroni and cheese, cornbread, and big pot of jambalaya. For dessert, brownies! Everyone seemed to really enjoy it.

But the one that really tickled me was Cornbread. He is by far my pickiest eater. Cheerios, banana, toast, cheese pizza, chips or toddler snacks, maybe some mashed potato....that was IT so far as this child eating! Well, the last few days he had actually been asking for food which was a huge step for him. Yesterday he ate well all day. Last night for supper he ate a plate of black eye peas, smoked chicken (leftover from earlier this week), and macaroni and cheese. Then he had seconds on the peas and chicken. Then he spotted the cornbread on my plate and I let him have it. He ate the whole slice and asked for more, then ate a whole second slice!

Our day yesterday was a peaceful one. We had originally invited some friends over for supper. However one called and their little one was sick with fever and throwing up. The GuitarMan was gone on a retreat and came home yesterday. Several of the other people on the retreat had gotten sick with the same symptoms. He was worn out himself so we decided to cancel any plans and just have family time. We watched a lot of football and took naps. Even after napping I laid down with the children last night about 8:30 and never got back up! So lots of family time, lots of rest....they say whatever you do on New Year's you'll do all year. I could do with a little peacefulness....actually a lot!

A Little Explanation

2009-12-20T15:21:00.003-06:00

I haven't been able to blog very often lately but it isn't because of being busy or even being lazy. No, we have been surprised by a Christmas blessing. We are expecting a new baby!

Unfortunately, reading and the computer aggravate the morning sickness (mine has never been confined to morning!) So if I'm not around as often or if I happen to owe you an email or comment, please understand. :) I'm not slighting you!

Although we view this as a huge blessing it does present some challenges. It would mean so much if you would place us on your prayer list and pray for our family.

Have a blessed and merry Christmas week!!

Mama's Pearl of Wisdom For Today

2009-12-17T13:29:00.003-06:00

A conversation came up yesterday and I shared this with my oldest son. It is certainly true in the South but I would suspect it is universal when dealing with people.

*Don't mistake someone having good manners and courtesy for them actually liking you.

*By the same token, don't assume that because someone doesn't practice good manners and courtesy that they don't love you to death.

Think on it....I guarantee some folks will come to mind! ;)

Fulfillment In Life

2009-12-11T06:37:00.004-06:00

Are you fulfilled? That can be a loaded question in today's world. It can mean different things to different people. I believe Satan loves to see people feel dragged down, depressed, and unfulfilled. When we succumb to to those feelings it brings with it a lack of contentment and a feeling of being dissatisfied. It causes us to lose focus and drift from one thing to another searching for our fulfillment.

Unfortunately it often causes people to pass judgement on one another. One secretly feels unsatisfied with what they are doing. So deep down they think maybe it will make them feel better if they tear you down for your choices. You have a nagging feeling you could be happier "if only" and it so happens they are living that life so you join in on ripping them to shreds. Yet none of that adds to your fulfillment.

Yesterday a friend and I had a conversation and it led into the subject of SAHM vs. working moms. She wasn't sure if she could be fulfilled being at home all the time. She thinks I'm great at it but she couldn't do it. It's funny but when I worked outside the home so many years as a teacher, then as a preschool director, people said the same thing! They saw the same level of fulfillment in my life then as what people do today.

My statement to her was this. I don't think you will find fulfillment in being at home. I don't think you will find fulfillment in working. You will only find fulfillment in being obedient to God and being where He wants you.

Think about it.

At work you have good days where you feel competent, appreciated and deeply satisfied with the performance you gave. Perhaps you had an interaction with someone and you were able to brighten their day or show a Christlike attitude and it gave you such a victorious feeling. Then there are other days when you feel like everything goes wrong, you can't do anything right and on top of it you really blew it when it came to dealing with other people.

Being at home is no different. There are days when you feel you have accomplished so much, you have spent such good quality time with your family, you have had heart to heart talks with your children and can really see your purpose being lived out. Then there are other days where everything is chaos, the children backtalk and act out, the dog knocks over the trash and you totally blow a fuse.

When it comes to feeling fulfilled it isn't a matter of the magic formula of having a career OR being at home. It doesn't work that way. Fulfillment comes by seeking God and His leading and truly following what He has you to do. That old discontentment usually comes because of disobedience in some area of our life. We know there is sin but we are stuffing down the conviction trying to justify our actions so we don't have to deal with it. But true fulfillment and satisfaction will only come when we listen to our Lord and submit to His leading.

Seek Him today!

Back Now

2009-12-10T12:32:00.002-06:00

Blogger has been giving me a little trouble lately so I haven't been able to post. It's straightened out now so here I am. Life has been full, even without blogging.

The little man's ear infection cleared up only to have the other ear start giving him problems. So he has been more clingy than normal and, if it were possible, even more finicky at mealtime!

Speaking of meals, the element on our oven shorted out the other night just as I was about to bake a pan of cornbread. My handy, dandy husband not only baked it outside on the grill but he also repaired the oven. It was only a matter of days without it but I was surprised to realize how often the oven is used. I had to rethink all of my meal plans.

When we were first married we rented a furnished little singlewide for a short time. It had no stove so I cooked everything using a crockpot, a waffle iron or an electric skillet! As a newlywed, I was just happy to "play house." I just did with what I had, bright orange flowerdy couch and all. If that were to happen today I'm afraid I wouldn't have the best attitude though lol! Of course, there are a lot more to feed now, too!

Now that I am thinking of those days, I remember we didn't even have a telephone! We would walk to a payphone if we needed one. Television was one maybe two channels. The children would be shocked to think of life without cell phones and internet, not to mention video games and DVDs. Back then we didn't even have VCRs!

Wow, the things we think we can't live without!

What's For Supper , Mama?

2009-12-03T12:09:00.003-06:00

This week's menu ...

MONDAY

Bought groceries and ate at a little hole-in-the-wall Mexican place

TUESDAY

Cheeseburger Macaroni

Salad

French Garlic Bread

WEDNESDAY

Chicken Fingers

Green Beans

Mashed Potatoes

Cornbread

THURSDAY

Liver W/ gravy and onions (I know but hubby likes it occasionally)

French Fries

Leftover beans and cornbread

(pizza for the kids - I try to encourage them to eat what I cook but everything has limits!)

FRIDAY

Hmmmm.... good question! I know I had something planned but I don't honestly remember what it was LOL Guess I better be checking on that...

SATURDAY

Birthday party and football party to attend so there's BBQ in the freezer if anyone is hungry after all that

SUNDAY

Chicken fried cubed steak w/ country gravy

rice

fresh crowder peas

salad

So What Have You Learned Today?

2009-12-02T21:20:00.002-06:00

My little guy has been very busy today.

He has discovered how to open several doors.

And shut them.

Repeatedly.

He has learned to pull the chairs out from the kitchen table.

And how to climb up in them to sit down.

And how to use them to climb onto the kitchen table.

He has learned to climb to the top of the playpen where he hovers precariously, unable to get up or down.

He has learned to climb on top of the toilet. I think he has his eye on the top of the cabinet that sits above the commode.

He has learned that the pretty balls on the tree shatter into tiny pieces when you throw them.

Well, it's happened 3 times with 5 casualties so let's hope he has learned!

He has learned how to climb up in the desk chair and attempts to type or use the mouse on the computer.

He has also figured out that he can psyche us out by grabbing the ornaments on the tree, then as we are putting them back on the tree he makes a beeline for the computer.

He sat down this morning and shared LadyBug's reading lesson, imitating every sound for every letter.

So maybe tomorrow will be reading! :)

Walking in Their Shoes

2009-11-30T06:27:00.004-06:00

Who are the people that you look down on? "Well, no one!" you say. But if you were really honest with yourself is that the true answer?

How often do we look down our noses at someone, never thinking about the advantages we have been given which perhaps they were not? Do you put people into "classes" in your mind? Well, this one is just a factory worker, this one went to community college, he went to Harvard, that one has a masters, she's just a waitress, .....and the list goes one. Can I just break something to you? Those things don't make the person! And if the money is the thing you just can't get past, then you need to realize that factory worker or mechanic or garbage man may be making more money that some people with a college education.

I'm not just talking financial advantages either. There are other things in life that shape who we are in a much more pinpointed way than money. There's home life, friendships, extended family, church family, life experiences....all kinds of things that could be looked upon as advantages (or disadvantages).

I'm just going to throw some things out there.

Was your childhood stable and happy?

Were you raised in a Christian home?

Did you have a father and a mother in the home?

If they professed to be Christians, did they just talk the talk or did they walk the walk? Were you getting a double message?

Was there alcoholism in your home?

Abuse of any kind from anyone in your life? (verbal, physical, or sexual)

Did you have the true support of family and friends?

Have you ever gone to bed hungry because there was no food? Ever been cold because there was no heat? Worn clothes that did not fit because it was all you had?

Have you ever been teased or made fun of or left out because of things you had no control over?

Have you ever struggled with fear, anger, or bitterness?

Have you ever struggled with an eating disorder or addiction?

Has there ever been a Christian you looked up to that totally let you down, stabbed you in the back or just hurt you? To a point that you were left disillusioned with the Christian faith?

What about now as an adult? Do any of these apply to what you are living in?

"Well, I wouldn't look down on someone because of any of those things!" you say. Yet perhaps you look down on someone who is struggling with the effects of these circumstances. We don't know what kind of baggage others might be carrying. Too often we throw barbs of disdain at others and dismiss their worth. Did you catch that? Dismiss their worth as a human being.

Maybe you're a strong person and you think they should just pull up their boot straps and get over it. Maybe you have dealt with some of these issues and that's what you were able to do. It's true enough that we can't live our lives based on the past. But Satan is a master at throwing it at us. And some people have a much more painful past than you may have. Their scars may be far worse than yours. In fact, some of those very people that you look down on so much, may have overcome far more than you will ever have to. If you really knew what their life had held you might come away with a dose of respect you never expected.

As Christians we need to wake up and realize we are ambassadors for Christ. We are carrying Him everywhere we go. We must learn to see people as He sees them. We've got to stop applying our standards to everyone else. Not only that, we've got to stop applying the Bible's standards of behavior to unbelievers. Why do you think so many people think all it takes is being a good person? It's us judging by behavior!

News flash! The family with the cute children who lives down the road, the little old lady across the street who likes to garden, the nice young man who mows your grass, the sweet girl who babysits..... if they don't know Christ as their savior they are just as hell-bound as the drunk shouting obscenities, the prostitute on the corner or the young girl who dresses inappropriately and gives it away for free. They may have better morals but it doesn't make them saved. However....however, it makes us Christians more comfortable. We feel safer around someone who can act more like us. The ironic thing is they may be harder to reach with Christ than the person who is wallowing in sin.

So today as you go about your business, try to see people in a different light. Don't dismiss them as being unworthy because they fail to reach your own lofty ideals. When you are tempted to take a disdainful attitude, instead pray for them. Find a way to love them. And realize that it is only by God's grace that you have come this far.

The Crud

2009-11-28T21:14:00.003-06:00

Yep, we got it. At least part of the family anyway. I think it all started when The GuitarMan came home from Chorale Tour sick with it. I suppose there are worse things to remember New Orleans by! It didn't necessarily come from there though as they had quite a few stops, stayed in hotels and other than taking turns riding in the Suburban with the professor, they were all cooped up together on the bus. So there's no telling.

As for our house, there is no way to NOT be together LOL so it is bound to make it's way through. Even LadyBug is having another bout with it. I say another because she already had a mild case of it. FlowerChild seems to be responding to her antibiotic, however she is soooo grouchy! Cornbread is on a milder dose of the same antibiotic as his infection was only in one ear. He is still so sick. I think if I don't see some major improvement by Monday he may need to see the pediatrician again.

We did manage to get our Christmas tree up. It is so pretty. A little tip if you haven't thought of it. We have a humongous artificial tree that we got for a great price. We have a small living room now though. So where to put it? We figured out if you leave the bottom ring and branches off it makes a nice smaller tree. You can't even tell it! I don't know if it would work for all artificial trees but if you are facing the same problem give this a try.

I also managed to video some of the tree decorating. I now have FlowerChild and LadyBug with their bouquets of poinsettias singing "Here Comes The Bride" (complete with their own ad libbed lyrics!) They do this every year but I never had a way to film until now. It hit me that I might not see that for much longer. They are growing so fast! It was a nice time, decorating and watching The Polar Express.

The GuitarMan left this afternoon headed back to school. But we got a call a little later and he was broken down. Aack! The FisherMan went and got him and his vehicle back. So we get him just a little longer!

So there you have it. Our house right now. Sick children, sick mama, broken down vehicle, pretty Christmas lights. :) Praise God The FisherMan hasn't gotten sick so far. Pray he can stay well to preach tomorrow! And just hopefully I will get back to myself soon! :)

Our Thanksgiving Day

2009-11-27T07:20:00.004-06:00

Well, Thanksgiving is done and now we just have the leftovers to deal with! I had sick children so it changed things up a bit for us. Cornbread and FlowerChild both have ear infections.

Wednesday afternoon the girls helped me make pumpkin pies. They turned out sooo good! I wish I could remember every little detail about it. From LadyBug on a stool, peeping over the edge of the bowl to Cornbread thinking he needed to have one too. FlowerChild talking too loud because her ears are all stopped up. Ha, I especially don't want to forget Cornbread pulling FlowerChild's shirt tail so hard she fell off her stool....she had a cup of evaporated milk in her hand which went flying across the kitchen...he fell down, she fell on top of him....it all resulted in a sticky, giggling little heap.

I planned on cooking the vegetables that night, boiling the eggs, and baking the cornbread for the dressing. For good Southern dressing, it helps to cook it the day before and let it sit to dry out some. Well, the little guy had such a rough time. He was so very congested and then the antibiotic made him sick. Every time I laid him down he would start coughing. Cooking went out the window in favor of rocking him.

So I got everything cooked yesterday and we had a great day. We finished putting up our outside lights. The children loved it, declaring it "Beautiful, like the North Pole!!" Ha, don't be too impressed..it was just some icicle lights across the front and some colored lights on the front porch and a small tree out front. The children loved it though!

The cold the children have been sick with that caused the ear infections? Well, it hit me yesterday full force after we ate. Good timing! I had been feeling it a little for a couple of days and thought maybe I would not have it so bad. Oh, well I was wrong. :) So we are all sniffling, snorting, and coughing together. Oh, yes, it's just lovely.

I guess you can tell by the time, I'm not shopping today. Lots of people get into all that but I never have really. One year I did get out and brave the masses at Wal-mart to get a Razor scooter for the GuitarMan....they were the hot item and they had them for $20!

Actually I can think of other things that should get us all that excited. But I guess that's a different post. :) So for now I'll just say have a terrific day!

Southern Sweet Potato Casserole

2009-11-25T15:51:00.003-06:00

3 c mashed sweet potatoes

1 c sugar

1/4 c milk

2 eggs

1/2 c butter or margarine

1/2 - 3/4 pumpkin pie spice

1 tsp vanilla extract

Mix ingredients and put in casserole dish.

TOPPING

1 c brown sugar

1 c flour

1 c butter or margarine

1 c chopped pecans

Mix and put over top of casserole. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes.

Hints: You can use canned sweet potatoes instead if you don't have fresh ones. I usually cut the sugar back to 3/4 cup. You might also like to add coconut but I don't usually. You can cut the eggs back to one if you really need to. (like when you forget to buy them and its 45 minutes to the nearest open grocery store and you want everything to be ready in 1 and 1/2 hours - ask me how I know this) Also if your casserole dish is smaller, use only 1/2 topping recipe or it will boil over, make a mess and just not taste as good. (ask me again how I know!) You also might like to add some spice to the topping as well. Maybe a tablespoon or so of cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice. Makes it yummy!

Go, Go, Go Week!

2009-11-25T06:51:00.003-06:00

This has been a full week! Monday called for many errands, hospital visitation, and grocery shopping. Yesterday my mom had a routine colonoscopy done. Today I need to let our pediatrician take a look at two of the children's ears. They have been sick with congestion and cough and are having some ear pain now. I sure don't want an ear infection to set in on Thanksgiving!

Cooking begins today for our meal tomorrow. I need to make the cornbread for the dressing. I will make it today and let it sit to dry out some. Tomorrow after trimming the crust and crumbling the rest up, I will add bread crumbs, onions, celery, spices, boiled eggs and broth before baking. I also want to go ahead and cook some of the vegetables. I am also going to make a pumpkin pie.

Supper tonight is frozen pizza...the only way the FisherMan will agree to that is knowing what kind of meal awaits him tomorrow LOL!

Oh, and I need to run right now but this afternoon I will post the recipe for sweet potato casserole as requested. Be blessed!!

A Contented Time of Year

2009-11-21T07:55:00.003-06:00

Can you believe Thanksgiving is here? My favorite time of year! The GuitarMan is home for the week and I have happy children....they love their big brother!

I'm still in the process of clearing out, decluttering, rearranging and organizing. It may seem to others that it sure is taking a while. But with young children, homeschooling, doctor appts, and all the little things that come up in life, it pays to take it slow and do it the right way. Otherwise things will just wind up unorganized again. I am seeing progress little by little. Once I get all the rooms arranged to my liking I will begin tackling closets. Eventually the inside will be finished....then we will tackle the shed outside. It's not a coincidence that it should be good and cold by the time we get to it. Snakes move slower in the cold...at least that's what I'm told. I really hope to not even have to find out LOL.

I have a ton of laundry to attend to today. I'll get to it...amongst the [surprise]birthday party, the food, the family, the friends, and the FOOTBALL that the day has in store. We have tickets to a college game today too but I'm not so sure I'll be joining in on that one. I think I'll stick to the games on TV. Sitting in the cold and rain for a game just doesn't even tempt me.

What does? Let's see...Christmas lights on, holiday scented candles, a soft fuzzy blanket, a hot cup of flavored coffee or some eggnog, watching holiday Food network shows or a Christmas romantic comedy. Or how about having the parades on TV while we roast a turkey stuffed with homegrown herbs and cook dressing, sweet potato casserole (hold the marshmallows, bring on the brown sugar and pecans!), pies and.....Oh, I really do love this time of year! :)

Good Math Site

2009-11-16T23:34:00.004-06:00

I came across this website tonight and it looks great. It gives the standards by state and by grade. It also gives lots of practice problems all broken down by topic so you can focus on particular weaknesses. I bookmarked it and we will definitely be taking a further look at this!

http://www.ixl.com/

Edited to add: This really does look good. The only thing is they let you play one game then take you to the page to register. It' s $9.95 a month or you can pay a discounted price for the year. Still it seemed to work faster and offer more than the free sites.

Decluttering

2009-11-15T20:56:00.005-06:00

Slowly but surely I am getting the furniture arranged to my liking, the toys sorted, and restoring order. Yet I am still surrounded by chaos. It is aggravating but I know I will get it finished and my home will be better for it.

What's funny is that while I am finding long lost items I am also losing everyday items. Usually it isn't actually lost but just blended in with its surroundings. A hairbrush carelessly tossed is instantly hidden. It was there the whole time I just couldn't see it for the other items. This also tends to happen when I am at my busiest and in a hurry. I want the item when I want it! So I am really trying to stress to my girls to return things to their proper home after use.

I find the same to be true with my spiritual armor. I know it's there somewhere. But when I get lazy I tend to toss it down, assuming it will be instantly available at my beck and call. Then when I can't find it I realize it is hidden in the clutter of my life.

The thing is, it's not until you are under spiritual attack that you realize you might be vulnerable. And Satan notices when you are wide open for attack. His barbs hit you when you least expect it... whispering.....reminding.....suggesting.

So while it is good to declutter your home from time to time it is essential to declutter your life to make room for the necessity of putting on the armor of God. Don't let activity, responsibility, worries, all crowd in to rob you of your spiritual protection. Rearrange your priorities to give God first place.

Still here....

2009-11-12T21:31:00.003-06:00

I haven't been around much this week...one, thanks to Ida we had lots of rain here and it always interferes with internet service....two, I've had some projects going to keep me busy.

We did some painting and some rearranging...the girls to a larger bedroom (they were busting at the seams!) and Cornbread to their old bedroom (perfect for a toddler...I can't believe LadyBug wasn't much older than him when we moved here!). Their room was a nice girly PINK so we had to change that to a more masculine tan.

I had no idea they had so much stuff! No wonder it was such a nightmare to keep their room neat! I still have to go through all the toys and clothes to get them organized and find an easy suitable way to store them. Any ideas for Barbie dolls and their accessories? (it just occurred to me that these days the aim seems to be to make the toys as realistic as possible but this is ridiculous! I swear the barbies and baby dolls seem to be somehow reproducing!) You know how they all come in sets, of course. Then all the pieces get jumbled together. I hate that! Right now they are in large tubs. But I would like to store them in such a way that I could label and keep the sets together for them. I had wondered about those under-the-bed shoe sorters but I don't know if one would hold everything without still combining sets. Ha, come to think of it, I need something to store their shoes, too!

Then we have all the beloved baby dolls. Once again, any ideas for storage? I know some of you are super organizers...help me out! :)

Now my girls? Their idea for storing their things would be to spread all their baby dolls across the couch along with the various little blankets, bags and whatnots. The floor would be covered with their barbies and all their artwork would be in easy reach on the coffee table or floor. Shoes would be scattered decoratively around in such a way as to necessitate a search party to find the mates.

You see my battle here. Clean, clutter, trash, treasure....I am really hoping that giving them a larger space with more storage will help them see the beauty of putting their toys away! Then again they may just see more space to clutter up :) Ah, well, it's only a season.

Baby Steps

2009-11-07T21:16:00.002-06:00

Hope you've had a good day today. We have been having some lovely autumn weather at our house! Yet I still have the urge to get the Christmas decorations out. Normally I am one of those people who likes to get Thanksgiving completed before moving on into the Christmas festivities. But there is just something about this year that has me ready to get all of the holidays going and squeeze out all the wonder.

So my house now has icicle lights hung 3/4 of the way across the front. It's a small start but still an official start!

I can't wait for the holiday cooking shows on Food network and the Christmas romantic comedy movies to begin.

We also did a little rearranging today along with some cleaning out. I am going through the children's things and doing away with broken toys or the things that just don't interest them. I still have a ways to go until I can check "satisfied" or "completed" on my mental list. But still, like the Christmas lights, I can say it is an official start. I'm also hoping to do a bit of painting in one of the bedrooms as well. When, well, I can't really say. Finding the time and energy when the children are asleep is the problem! They would oh, so , love to help out!

The GuitarMan has moved on from New Orleans. I thought they would finish up there on the tour but they left this afternoon headed for another destination in Louisiana where they will sing tomorrow. From there it is on to Mississippi.

Supper tonight was just a simple old kid's favorite, gourmet hot dogs. Slitting the middle and filling with sliced cheese, then toasting in the oven is what makes them gourmet. :) And I even gave everyone their choice on chips....Doritos, cheese curls or plain chips! But while I was slaving away on that(ha!) we also had a whole chicken roasting on the grill for tomorrow. So that's done....smells sooooo good!

All in all, it was a good day. Not perfect, but good. Nothing so bad a gooey, home baked Chocolate chip cookie couldn't help. :)

I hope tomorrow is a beautiful day to spend worshiping the Savior!

The Tour

2009-11-06T22:38:00.002-06:00

My boy called me a little while ago from Bourbon Street. I'm not so sure how I feel about that lol! He's on tour with the chorale and that is the last city. He's blown away by the music which I knew he would be. This is really a new experience. Just hoping all the guys stay safe!

Are You Listening to Him?

2009-11-03T08:28:00.004-06:00

Are you ready to accomplish something for God? It requires staying in the center of His will. Are you really ready for that? I mean, are you truly willing to seek it and then live it?

What if it meant leaving behind everything including most of your friends and family, Abraham style? Recently I have found out that several of my friends have done this. They are anywhere from Alaska to West Africa. Wow, talk about commitment!

And many in the Bible belt are doing good to just make it to a church service or Bible study!

What if it meant you had to get radical?

What if God told you that you were too comfortable? It's easy to think about serving Him if there is something in it for you. But what if hurts, disappointments, and trials were part of the package? And you had to keep on anyway.

What if it wasn't as easy as attending a Sunday school class or singing in the choir? Or just sitting through a sermon?

What if He wanted more?

Guess what...He does.

Proof God's Still At Work

2009-11-01T07:55:00.002-06:00

This is what the GuitarMan was up to Friday night. He was on a stage proclaiming Christ in song. For any new friends here, this is my son. Obviously by the nickname he is a musician. He was in a car accident in August and his left hand was crushed. He had surgery and is still in therapy now. But he is back to being able to perform. I don't have the pictures from the gig he did recently when he still had the pins in his hand. I'll have to check on that. But here he is, pins out, doing what he loves best.

Recipe for Tater Tot Casserole

2009-10-28T23:25:00.002-05:00

2 pounds ground beef

1 can broccoli and cheese soup

1 cup cheddar cheese

1 pkg tater tots

Brown beef. As it cooks you may leave it plain or season it or add onions/garlic, whatever you like. Drain. Stir in soup. Spread in casserole dish. I use a square one. Top with cheese and then tater tots. Bake at 350 degrees until it browns app. 30-40 minutes.

Hope, Faith, Trusting and Abiding

2009-10-28T09:31:00.004-05:00

I hope this post makes sense. It's just a collection of thoughts I had in my quiet time and I thought I would share. Forgive me if it seems to ramble.

Hope....is how we should look to our future. It is the encouragement of knowing good things are to come.

Faith....is how we should live today. It is the encouragement of knowing God is at work RIGHT NOW on your behalf.

Trusting and abiding....means living in the moment with the assurance of victory.

Situations may look bleak. People may disappoint you. You may feel misunderstood in your endeavors. But all of this pales in comparison to the victory we find in Christ. It's not just a matter of getting your foot in the door of heaven. It's about allowing Him to mold you and change you for the better. Pressure hurts but it is necessary to bring about change.

We should have a hunger for discipleship so that we can look beyond those pressures to the hands that hold us. It is essential to look beyond ourselves to others and find opportunities to encourage, teach or bless. Some days it may feel like your efforts are in vain and aren't welcome. But this is when perseverance and determination join with faith.

I heard a quote yesterday from David Jeremiah that I thought was so good. He has a lot of those! This one was: No one ever said," I know what that guy's problem is! He's been encouraged way too much!"

It's sad but too many times we tear down instead of build up. Or we jump in to stir the hurts and then jump out so we can say I didn't do it! Or we just stand back and watch. Do you know what I mean? The phone calls to pass along prayer needs....but they are really just veiled gossip. The speculation of fellow Christian's problems and whether they "deserve" our help. How about the old standard? "Let me know if you need anything!" I would venture to say we've probably all been guilty of that one. But how often do people really "let us know" anything? Why not? Because if we really meant it we would have already pinpointed the need and tried to help. They shouldn't have to beg us. Ouch. As one older congregation member used to exclaim when something convicting was preached, "Oh, me, Lord!"

Hope, faith, trusting, and abiding. Hope isn't wishing. Faith isn't saying maybe one day. Trusting isn't questioning. Abiding is joining all of these to enable us to rest in Jesus despite the storms swirling around us. Let us lift each other up so that we can be strong enough to live this way! Christians, we need each other! Put aside childish pettiness and laziness! Time is short! There are hurting people, both believers and nonbelievers, that need us to step in. Strengthen yourself in the Lord so that you will have it to share!

Halloween and Judgement, Hand in Hand?

2009-10-26T12:44:00.005-05:00

Oh, what a pleasant, cool day! We homeschooled outside this morning and the children played. They also enjoyed a nice picnic. I heard from The GuitarMan today and that was a sweet "interruption." He went home with friends this weekend so we didn't get to see him. Next weekend he has plans again. The he leaves the following week to go on tour with the chorale where they will end up in New Orleans. Well, he has it all planned out so we will get the chance to see each other in between all of that. It made this mom happy to know his family is important to him.

Cornbread suddenly wound up with a stuffy nose during the night and still has it. He is sleeping in my lap now. I've been blog-hopping while he rests. Blogger keeps irritating me lately because I'll leave these well thought out great comments (well, I think so anyway, ha!)on people's blogs and then it doesn't go through. Instead I get the page cannot be found thing. Arghh! Then if I try to go back to the page my comment is gone. Frustrating!

One comment I wanted to leave on one blog was on the subject of Halloween. Now I already shared that we choose to not celebrate it. This friend shared how she came to the conviction that she should and was criticized by church friends, leaving their relationships somewhat cool, I guess you would say.

It's a shame that Christians want to play Holy Spirit instead of loving and being there for each other. We get so excited because God reveals something to us and we think everyone else should hop on it, too. Then when they come to a different conclusion we decide they aren't as close to God as we are. Here comes the judgement. It would be far better to live out your own convictions and stick to letting the Holy Spirit do His work. I think it is good to share how He is leading you to live. It makes us think and decide what we believe and why. But when we cross over into pointing fingers we are in dangerous territory.

Things I've seen?

Judging people because they DO celebrate Halloween.

Judging people because they DON'T.

Judging women because they DO work outside the home.

Judging women because they DON"T.

Judging people because they DO follow Jesus.

Judging people because they DON'T.

Do you get my drift? The criticism goes both ways but it only causes hurt feelings. It doesn't change beliefs. I do believe that God's Word is true, concrete and unchangeable. I think the answers to life's problems and questions are there. Once I grasp hold of a conviction in my heart I don't budge. (friends and family can attest to that one LOL) And for all the firm beliefs I've reached I know God is still working and will reveal more to me as I grow in Him.

But what happens when we both study it and come up with different answers? Well, one has to be wrong, wouldn't you say? Why do we always assume it's the other person?

My conclusion is....live out your convictions! I don't want to be guilty of judging someone instead of loving them. Love each other, pray for each other and model yourself after Christ. If I believe something is wrong and I make you feel despised for your choices in it then how will you ever change? If I feel something is wrong but you say it's ok...then you judge me for my avoiding it, how will I ever feel any freedom? Better to let them see me living out my convictions, sticking to my beliefs, and not getting angry just because we are all at different points in our walk with Christ. See, I think the Holy Spirit is so much bigger than any of these questions. So if our sincere hope is to be led into a deeper relationship with Christ and each other we can trust Him to lead us and change us. Because really it's not about us. It's about Him. :) Be blessed today!

Our Family and Halloween

2009-10-24T07:47:00.006-05:00

I can't believe the house is still so quiet this morning! I am enjoying my Hills Bros. cappucino and doing a little blog hopping. In a little while, the little ones will start wandering into the living room with tousled hair, blankets and lovies. They'll ask to "watch shows." Then will come the task of finding something to watch that isn't all about Halloween.

We choose to not celebrate Halloween with our children. We never thought too much of it until (when GuitarMan was a baby) a man came to our church and did a fantastic seminar. This was a long time ago obviously but basically the gist of it was th evil in our society and how we unknowingly expose our children to it. He covered a lot of material. Part of his lectures dealt with Halloween. After that we have always felt convicted that we shouldn't take part in it. Now it covered way more than just this topic, but for this post, Halloween and our family is what I will talk about.

We don't dress up in costumes, go trick-or-treating, welcome them with candy (or tracts), or attend harvest festivals. When The GuitarMan was growing up I remember we did attend a church harvest festival here or there sometimes but it wasn't like we just felt like we HAD to do something or he would be left out. (just keeping it real here) We also tend to avoid books, tv shows, and movies that deal with witches or themes our family isn't comfortable with.

I know some folks, Christians included, choose to celebrate and view it as an innocent time of family fun. Knowing what I do now I just can't view it that way. I don't even like the church activities anymore. My thought is that if we really want to celebrate a harvest festival, why choose to do it on Halloween? Why teach my child that it's wrong to do the Halloween activities, then turn around as a church and have costumes and candy? That just seems confusing. It feels like we would be doing the same things but stamping a happy little benign name on it and calling it okay. I prefer one that is held later on in November so that it correlates more with Thanksgiving.

If you aren't sure about why I feel this way I would encourage you to research it for yourself. This post isn't about slamming you with the whys of what we do. There is plenty of information available these days just by doing a simple Internet search. It's more about encouraging you to fill your heart with Christ and His ways and then follow your heart with whatever you decide.

Some would say it is okay as long as the costumes aren't scary or gory. They say activities such as costumes, treats, jack-o-lanterns, and apple bobbing are just innocent fun. Some would be quick to tell me that even Christmas has pagan roots.

I understand that and I'm not here to argue with or judge anyone. This is something we have been convicted about for a very long time. If I research it and feel uneasy or feel a lack of peace deep within my spirit then that is conviction. I believe if conviction is present then that makes it sinful for me to take part in whatever the activity is. This is where we found ourselves.

So instead of a monster bash around here I'll take a different route. When we make our grocery run each week throughout the year I'll let the children pick out their favorite candy. They can play dress up to their heart's content whenever they wish (as long as they clean up their mess LOL). I will teach them that although there is a day called Halloween we don't celebrate it because we don't feel like it honors God.

I will also let them know that many people do choose to celebrate it. Sometimes good friends or family members may choose to take part. That doesn't mean we should relax our own standards or convictions. But neither does it mean that we should judge them, look down on them, or try to make them feel "less than" because they take part. I will teach them how to gently share their heart so that friends or family will know why they won't be participating but will still feel loved (not ostracized). Because all the works mean nothing without love.

Peace.

Stayin On the Go

2009-10-22T23:20:00.003-05:00

Not much time this week for contemplating life and its ins and outs. Henceforth not a lot of blogging either.

I'm learning about this Facebook thing. It's been neat to find old friends and chat.

Tuesday The GuitarMan and the crew of regulars from the college came to the game. Afterwards we all headed over to Taco Bell. They surprised The FisherMan with a birthday cake loaded with 68 candles followed by a silly string attack in the parking lot. And, no, he isn't 68 years old. :)

The GuitarMan had therapy again today and it's going well. They hope to start strength therapy next week using putty.

Just tellin ya' what they said. :)

All joking aside, I think he will be able to start putting some pressure on it next week. Which means he may be able to start playing guitar with it, instead of just the other 3 fingers.

FlowerChild had her last soccer game of the season tonight. I think she might be a little sad. She so enjoys it. She is such a little sprite out there on the field amongst the bigger kids. What a picture she makes always smiling with long, blonde hair flying as she runs! LadyBug and Cornbread have the best time playing together during the games. I just want to be able to freeze frame these images in my mind so I don't forget them!

Ah, made me think....guess what Cornbread is doing now! He squats his little body down, gets a running start and tackles his daddy! LOL The GuitarMan says, "He's a BEAST!!"

Milestones

2009-10-20T21:37:00.005-05:00

Well, we have reached a few milestones around here and I thought I would catch everyone up. First.....The GuitarMan got the pins out today! Yes! Still in the custom brace, still healing, but no pins to contend with now. Therapy still for a while. However the therapist mentioned if his range of motion continues to improve, he may be able to cut it back to once a week.

He and Z had a concert Sunday night at a church over in the next county. It was pretty freaky to see him play with the pins. But the thing that took the cake was on the last song when he went all out and put the electric guitar behind his head and played it! There were some pictures made at the concert. His doctor is hoping there might be a good shot of him playing that shows his pins. He wants to use it when he does seminars and presentations!

Second.....In other news, I am officially hip now. Well, probably not since I just used the term hip but anyway...up to date....cool....whatever. I'm on Facebook now. The only thing on there is my name, birthday and that I'm married. I cracked up at that. I've been married 25 years and I look on there and it says so-and-s0 (otherwise known as me) is now married. I looked at filling in the rest. Do you know how hard it is to say exactly what your interests, favorite music, books, etc are when you are as busy as I am LOL? Favorite music? Um, anything from son's band! Interests? Um......Oh, my I really am feeling like a boring person. :o)

Everyone tells me I am going to be totally addicted to this Facebook thing though. Now I did think it was neat that I could look up everyone from high school to see if they had Facebook. There were some I recognized. I could Friend them I guess. But then that would mean they would be in touch with me too. Can I be truthful here? I would really rather see THEIR pictures of how THEY look after all these years of life rather than THEM looking at ME! I'm used to the blogging world where you can lurk anonymously! How weird to go all these years and suddenly be able to see all about their life now.

I suppose I'll get son to help me with it when he comes home again. Maybe he can make it look good enough to where I won't care LOL!

No Small Jobs

2009-10-18T08:34:00.002-05:00

Elisabeth Elliot said, "Sometimes obedience means the willingness to do the useless thing in order that God may do the great thing."

I read this quote this morning and even though I really should be dressing for church I felt an urge to share my thoughts with you in the hopes that it might encourage someone today. Sometimes the things God calls us to do seem useless or small. Sometimes it feels as though we are endlessly banging our heads against a wall and only getting a headache for our reward. It is only when we acknowledge our Creator and His work in us and through us that we realize He has purpose in everything! But when we get too full of ourselves we usually start to whine because there may be no instant results. There may not be the level of appreciation we hope for. It is at this point that we shift our focus from others to ourselves. From God's will to our wishes. We begin to perceive the smallest slight or disappointment as major cause for our feelings. We may even begin to look for those slights in order to feed our hurts. But oftentimes the things that we assume are useless or even a thorn in our side are meant to be huge blessings from God. Don't miss out on what He is doing!! Even when it seems that the thing He is guiding you to do is useless and has no meaning you must trust in His will. Resist the temptation to withdraw into yourself and stroke negative feelings. Stop telling yourself that you are useless, have no purpose, or that He has no real use for you. We all have jobs to do. Sometimes they are big and sometimes they are small. But when you do it as unto the Lord it becomes a mighty thing! Trust Him and the plans He has for your life.

The Privilege of Worship

2009-10-16T11:10:00.004-05:00

Lots going on today but Cornbread wanted a little rock-rock time so I thought I would pop on here for a quick post. Another late night but it was worth it. The GuitarMan is in the Male Chorale at his college and they had a concert last night. What a privilege to attend! We took the girls and my mom was sweet enough to keep the little guy. There's no way he could have gone to something like this. So without her help there would have been no way for us to attend.

Wow, they did a beautiful job of leading worship in song. We were able to tape some of it but loading videos on Blogger crashes my computer so I can't share. :( It hit me again that The GuitarMan was the same age as LadyBug the first time we took him to see the chorale. Now here he is singing in it. Pretty cool to see it come full circle. What you expose your children to matters!

It makes me sad to think how many people take those opportunities for worship for granted and miss out. They don't look at it as a privilege. Some people come to church only if they are in the mood, if they feel like it, aren't too tired, if their friends are going to be there, etc. What would happen if they approached their job the same way? So if this is you, what is happening to your spiritual life? Oh, I realize that church attendance doesn't equal salvation. But shouldn't salvation equal a desire to worship with other believers? To lead others to Christ? To be discipled and grow in knowledge and faith?

Just my ponderings.

Puttering Wide Open Through the Day

2009-10-14T22:54:00.003-05:00

I sit here tonight soaking in the quiet for a few minutes before heading to bed. Today was a busy, rowdy sort of day. The morning started out with a bit of drizzly rain. We've been on the go so much lately that I opted to let the children sleep in and enjoy the rest. Honestly, I don't wake them up normally anyway. However I tiptoed a bit more this morning in hopes that a few extra minutes of sleep would help with any grouchies that threatened. Usually their built-in radar goes off within a few minutes of me getting up. That radar is not to be confused with the other models they have that alarm when Mama and Daddy are having a conversation or horrors, touching!

I decided to get in the kitchen today and putter. Now that I am off crutches I figure I will take it one day at a time, one room at a time and get things restored to normal. Today was kitchen day and it felt great to clean up and do a bit of rearranging of the countertops. I didn't push too hard, just did a little at a time. Henceforth, the term puttering.

Homeschooling flowed so easily that it was one of those days I was left reviewing the subjects in my head, thinking I surely must have missed something. But, no, it was just that easy today.

Tonight was church and the children all enjoyed themselves. Well, except our little resident princess. Our children's director's baby is a gorgeous little brunette with a big smile and sparkling eyes. Tonight she took a tumble and bumped the edge of the pew so hard that she not only bruised but it also busted open right at the edge of her eye. I've already spoken to The FisherMan about the possibility of moving all the pews out in favor of picnic blankets LOL. Ok, so maybe that isn't feasible. Hmmm....just padding the seats may not be enough. Can't you just see us putting foam on all the edges of the pews like you would do with a fireplace?

Tonight we had only been home from church a few minutes when there was a knock at the door. A couple of friends of my son's had stopped by. The girls enjoyed that excuse to stay up. We had a nice visit with them.

And now this old Mom is ready for bed!

Another Week

2009-10-13T23:34:00.002-05:00

Well, the pins are still in. The doctor was all set to take the pins out but when he found out how bad things got last week following therapy he said no way. The pins must stay for another week. He is afraid the bone will give way again if the pins are taken out. It is actually better for them to be in right now as the bone is stronger with them in. Hey, it's healing so we can't complain!

I May Be Busy But.....

2009-10-12T20:42:00.006-05:00

......there's still time for people watching and pondering. More about that later.

I have been just awful lately about blogging regularly. Well, not blogging, I guess is more like it. My brain has just been so full of everything to the point of having nothing to say. Does that make sense? Do you ever get that way? I think maybe it comes with being an only child. You grow up with more alone time and you get used to keeping your thoughts inside. When blogging, it can be easy to let the days slip by until you realize, oops, I haven't blogged in a few days!

Our days around here have been so full lately, too. The GuitarMan has had many doctor appointments lately. We are really hoping that he will be able to get the pins out tomorrow. He still will have therapy for a while. It will be good to get the healing process over and done.

I feel so behind on the homekeeping front. First I was out of commission with the crutches. Then we have been on the go so much that I haven't been able to really roll up my shirtsleeves and get back into it. Think you don't like housework? Try being unable to do it at all. It is so frustrating!

Soccer is in full swing. We have two games a week. That isn't too bad but they are in another town and are played right around supper time. So we always have to figure out picnics and such. Last Tuesday we didn't leave there until 10:00 pm! We had the game and then picnicked at the park next to the field. Once we ate, the children played and we visited with The GuitarMan and his friends who had come up to watch the game. The next thing we knew it was time for the park to close! We typically would not stay out so late, preferring to keep the children more on schedule for bedtime. But we were all having such a nice visit that no one noticed the time.

Wednesday night the children and I were all just tired and feeling blah. So we stayed home from church. Cornbread fell asleep by 7:10 that night! If given the chance I think I could have too! Thursday night we were all sort of glad there wasn't a soccer game scheduled.

In the midst of all that, we have also been homeschooling. LadyBug feels so big since she is learning to read. It is also amazing to see how much she absorbs from her big sister. I am excited to see how much she will progress once the task of learning to read is done. Now FlowerChild would be happy if she could do nothing but read, spell, and draw, with some science, computer, and music thrown in. History she'll take, too. One thing stands between her and true happiness. Math! We just keep plugging away at it though. One day soon I expect it will suddenly click. She may never love it but hopefully she will get to a point of tolerating it. Right now we are the stage of she does it under protest LOL.

Today we took the children to McDonald's and on to Wal-Mart for groceries. Playland always gives a people-watcher like myself something to do. It didn't let me down today. This lady came in with her two children, a boy around two and a girl around four or five, along with a baby in a carrier/carseat she was babysitting. Well, she was the type who fussed constantly but that wasn't what got me. No, it was that she left the children alone in the indoor playland area to go change the baby in the bathroom. Another time the older one was left without being told, so she could take the boy to the bathroom. Yet when the baby's father arrived to pick her up, the fussing and frowns were replaced with a smile. When the woman needed to refill her drink before leaving she looked helplessly at the children, then asked him if he would mind watching them so she could step away. Grrrr. I dislike phonies. I really dislike phony caregivers who act as though they take care of children one way when it is really another. Parents are depending on them too much to be deceived that way.

On another note, I tried the Iced Mocha while I was there. I tried it because thanks to The GuitarMan my new favorite thing is a Mocha Caramel Frappucino from this little coffee shop hangout. Oh, my goodness, this will be on the table at the feast, it simply has to be! So anyway I thought how great it would be to get it at Mickey D's since those are everywhere and the little coffee shop hangout, well, isn't. Can I just tell you that some things can simply not be replaced. An iced mocha is NOT the same as a mocha caramel frappucino. Oh, no the frapp is....something to be experienced! Well, the iced mocha was an experience too but more on the unpleasant side. Blech! It looked the same but, boy, howdy, was it some more different!

Anyway I guess you could sum up my day with one word. Phonies. First the phony childcare provider. Then the phony frapp. Kind of like this world. Lots of phoniness everywhere you look. You think you might get that little taste of heaven from what the world offers. But in reality it is full of bitterness and lies. Best to skip it and go for the real truth. The real way. Christ. Only Jesus Christ cuts through all the junk of the world to offer life eternal. No deceit. No talking one way doing another. Just truth.

Well, I'm going to go read a little scripture before bed. Have a little conversation with my Lord. Enjoy the real thing.

And then I think I'm going to go count out some change so's I can enjoy a real frapp with my boy tomorrow after his appt. :)

Doctor's Office Again

2009-10-09T21:43:00.007-05:00

Rough day today. The GuitarMan had to see the doctor for the fourth time this week. He started experiencing extremely severe pain and swelling following physical therapy yesterday. They x-rayed again and said the bones look okay. The doctor thinks the therapy brought on the symptoms so they said no more PT for the weekend. He thinks it was scar tissue breaking up due to the therapy which is good, of course, but with those pins still being in, it's a problem. Hopefully getting the pins out Tuesday will help.

Waiting Room Prayers

2009-10-08T15:54:00.005-05:00

I realized I haven't updated on all the orthopaedic issues around here LOL. I am off crutches now which is a big help. I still have a limp and have to be very careful how I step down or turn. My foot is bruised and I have pain. But, still, it is better than what it was. I pray that it will continue to improve each day.

The GuitarMan went back to the doctor Monday, again Tuesday, and again today. Monday he was x-rayed and examined to see if they could remove the pins. Doc thought it best to leave them in another week but he was concerned that stiffness might set in. So they went ahead Monday and sawed the cast. Then they wrapped it until the next day. When he came back the next day they removed it and fitted him with a custom brace. They gave him exercises to be done 6 times a day. Today he went back and saw the physical therapist to begin therapy. Hopefully he will have the pins removed next Tuesday.

We basically had church today in the waiting room. We met a man named Tex who was electrocuted at his job. His coworker was killed in the accident. Tex was resuscitated 5 times. He lost 2 fingers, suffered serious burns, and it has affected his speech, long term and short term memory. What a testimony! He still praises God for saving him and realizes that God has more for him here.

Then we met a pastor in his eighties who used to serve at a church in our area. He shared all kinds of stories of his pastorates. He kept saying, "Now if I bore you, just tell me to hush." Bore? Are you kidding? This man was a treasure! He prayed over our family right there in the waiting room before we left. He had no idea how much comfort washed over us in that moment.

It was really a blessing to talk with these people today. Sometimes God sends encouragement in unexpected ways. He knew how much we needed it today.

How about you? What's your story? We all have one. Are you using your story, your life to encourage or truly help those around you? Don't miss out on those opportunities. Think about the encounters in your life. When you step out of your home, what or whom are you sharing? We live in a hurting world. Many people are going about their business with a smile but they are really crying inside. How do you respond to that?

Soften your heart and your attitude with Christ's love before you speak. You never know what someone else may be going through.

Good Stuff

2009-10-03T21:36:00.004-05:00

Hope it's been a good Saturday for everyone. We had a great day! We FINALLY had LadyBug's birthday party. It has been a challenge to pull off. You may remember I fell and hurt my ankle on her birthday the 23rd. They had a surprise party planned for her at church but instead we had to take off to the ER. After some finagling and planning we were able to do it today.

I am still hobbling and there was no way for me have it at our house. So a friend was nice enough to allow us to do it at their house. We combined it with a ballgame and finger foods and had a blast. Thanks to them allowing everyone to invade their home, I was able to just enjoy the day. No worrying over how I would manage to get the house and yard ready!

I was able to see an old friend and meet her family. Our children made instant friends as we knew they would. What a blessing that it is a small world! It's so good to reunite with such sweet folks after all these years.

The GuitarMan brought friends home this weekend for the party. So we had a houseful up until tonight. This afternoon we all got outside and enjoyed the beautiful weather. The little ones played hide-n-seek. Cornbread is so cute when he finds his sisters!The FisherMan even played football with all the kids out in the yard. Now that was entertainment to see!

The children were exhausted by tonight but were happy and excited over the day. Aren't those kind of days just so good? Just that happy, contented tiredness that comes from a day of laughter and fellowship. FlowerChild mentioned it felt like Christmas. I know exactly what she meant. Family. Friends. It's good stuff.

Conversation is key.....

2009-10-01T08:57:00.004-05:00

...what were you saying?

Ok, that title has absolutely nothing to do with this post. I couldn't think of anything and I saw that quote on a friend of GuitarMan's Facebook status and it made me laugh.

I can't believe this week is almost over. Time flies when everything requires hobbling! :) There have been times when I have decided a bathroom trip just wasn't worth the trouble LOL. Monday was fun. I did my Wal-Mart shopping in a wheelchair. By the time we were done, I got to be a pro at wheeling that thing around! The girls helped push a few times, too. I tried to distract them from that though after FlowerChild narrowly missed sending me flying into a beer display. Can't you just see the pastor's wife trying to explain that to the ER doctor?

"Well, doc, all I really remember was that case of beer..." LOL

But I am seeing some improvement. Although I still need the crutches I can put a little weight on my foot now. I can also get my foot into a Croc shoe.

The GuitarMan is doing well also. He isn't in so much pain now. That may change when the physical therapy begins! The doctor told him that there won't be any sedation required to remove the pins. So he was a little freaked by that! I told him I would see what I could find out online. Oh. My. Word. I guess you can find anything on YouTube. I have dial-up so I don't really know about all that. But I did manage to load some YouTube videos of people having pins removed. These people videoed themselves... in the doctor office... while he removed pins from their body... from their bones... and they're bleeding! Hello! Am I the only one that finds that a bit strange? But on the upside, now I know what to expect. So I guess their strangeness did help me out. :)

But I'm not telling The GuitarMan about the blood part until I get him in the exam room. Even then I may sugarcoat just a little bit!

Dr. Appt Today

2009-09-28T17:26:00.002-05:00

The GuitarMan went back to the doctor today. They removed the temporary cast he had and checked the pins. He said that was the weirdest sensation to have those pins sticking out! His finger looks great and now that it is straight it is even more obvious how bad it was.

I wish in a way that I had pictures from all along. But, honestly, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I still get a funny feeling when I see the dent in the side of his vehicle.

Anyway they have him in a fiberglass cast now. The doctor came in and showed the techs exactly how he wanted the cast. It was really a challenge they said. But the way it was done he can move some of the joints above the breaks. That is why the doc was so precise about it, he is trying to preserve mobility. At this point, stiffness is the main threat. He got a black cast to match his tux for male chorale. They start tour this week. :)

We'll go back Monday and if all is going well he will remove the pins right there in the office. Then therapy will begin. If he is still having problems in 3 months he will have another surgery. So we are all going to bathe this thing in prayer so we don't have to face that ordeal!

Preacher's Kids

2009-09-28T07:37:00.002-05:00

You know, children are children and the preacher's children are no exception. I got so tickled at my little ones last night. The FisherMan preached a great sermon out of Proverbs on the heart but as all mothers know, when you have your children you are listening out of one ear and mothering out the other!

Here are a few little tidbits from last night to show you what I mean.

Cornbread was in rare form last night and kept trying to give "fist bumps" to everyone behind us...all the way back.

He also played the eyes, ears, nose, hair, etc game with me, his sisters....and everyone else behind us. Oh, and who can forget the bellybutton at which time he stood up in my lap, raised his shirt over his head, and made delightful squeals?

You've heard of the amen corner? Well, he has learned to say "Roll Tide" and was proud to proclaim it.

Towards the end FlowerChild lost interest and I looked down to see she was swaying, snapping her fingers, and singing under her breath. I didn't know the song. Apparently it was an original work, something about chocolate and pizza.

We had a fly tormenting us throughout the service. LadyBug repeatedly tried to catch it as Mama repeatedly attempted to calm her strange antics. Finally I glanced down to see the unassuming fly resting happily on my injured foot. There sat LadyBug with a determined look on her face, her bright, pink sparkly slipper raised high above her head.

Oh, my babies, LOL.

How's It Going?

2009-09-27T16:27:00.004-05:00

I am still on crutches but I can tell there is a bit of improvement each day. I have been blessed with help.

The FisherMan has been helping out with cooking.

My mom was able to help out with laundry (although there is a never ending supply of that so it is never finished!LOL) and dishes.

The GuitarMan's college friends came for FlowerChild's soccer game Thursday night. Usually we fill up the bleachers and afterwards I supply a picnic supper but this time I wasn't able to do it! I sat on the hillside instead in a portable chair and they all sat on the ground below me. They brought all the fixins' for a picnic supper so we did not have to do a thing. (FlowerChild had dozen people cheering for her!)

Then 2 of his college friends, Z and another friend, came Friday afternoon and stayed until Saturday night. They got outside Friday with the children and played soccer and chase with them all over the yard. The children loved it.

Saturday Z got outside and helped The FisherMan out with some yard work.

We had the funeral that afternoon for the lady that had passed away this week. It was at their house that I fell. Our church supplied lunch for them and some of the leftovers were sent here. So I have had lots of much appreciated help!

I will admit though it just isn't in me to sit around being waited on. I just can't take not being able to jump in and do what needs to be done for my family. Friday I tried to make a pitcher of tea. I filled the pitcher with water but found I couldn't lift it then to pour in the teapot. Well, not do that and manage to stay upright on the crutches anyway! But yesterday I tried again and I managed it! So I made a pitcher of Kool-Aid while I was at it! :) I also finagled and managed to make a meatloaf. I am nothing if not determined, ha!

Now if I could just figure out how to get a cup holder on these crutches I would be set! So far though I haven't figured out how to fix me something to drink and get back to the living room with it.

I can only imagine what a picture we will make at the orthopaedic doctor's office tomorrow. :oP

Perceptions

2009-09-25T11:42:00.004-05:00

When you were a kid, did you like to explore the woods? Wow, I sure did. We used to go up to the lake every weekend. In the summer there was boating, sunbathing and swimming. (Funny thing is even though I grew up going to the lake I'm not a water person. I like being there but I would rather stay dry LOL) In the winter the water would be way down where they would drop the water levels from the dam. When I was little I would "cook" using the mud and sand along the shore. Red clay made the "pizza" and the white sand was "sugar". When I got older I loved to walk the shoreline and explore the little natural creeks around our slough. It was so relaxing to me to disappear among the trees.

The lake was still the lake no matter the season. But people's perceptions of it were different depending on what it could offer them at a given time of year. It had so many different facets and characteristics. Some were loved by all and some were under-appreciated.

People would flock to it in the summer to take advantage of the cool water. The weekdays were usually quiet except for Independence Day. But folks began to trickle in on Friday nights and by Saturday there was no mistaking the crowd. The hum of boats began early in the morning on Saturdays. The smell of charcoal grills floated lazily through the air. The sound of neighbor's conversations carried across the water. I still smile when I think of the time I overheard my now husband's family discussing me! Back then he was the cute, older guy with a sharp boat and hot car who I spotted now and then across the slough. I knew his laugh, even then. Those of you who know him, know exactly what I mean. We had talked a few times and I was elated when I heard through the "airwaves" how much he liked me.

I especially loved the solitude in the fall and winter. Cabins stood empty and the waters were quiet. The smell of burning leaves often hung in the air. About the only boats to be heard were the occasional fishermen. My bed sat on the enclosed porch. The windows were not glass so it gave the feel of being outside. Once I was awakened at sunrise by a persistent splashing. Imagine my surprise when I discovered it was a buck with a huge rack struggling to swim across the lake. He was so big that it was not an easy feat. His body would sink and his head would bob underwater only to burst out of its depths gasping for air. I watched his determined trek and felt like cheering when he finally emerged from the cold water on the other side.

Most people had no use for the lake if they couldn't swim or ski. Some even thought of it as ugly without the lapping waves and green trees surrounding it. Not me. I loved it when the crowds thinned, the trees began to change colors and eventually were left bare against a fall sky. The cold could be brutal when there was a stiff wind blowing over the water.

I loved the lake simply because it was the lake. I guess it was only fitting that I met the love of my life there.

The FisherMan and I started dating in September after talking all summer. We didn't really date as in going to the movies or out to eat, etc. We would go over to his sister's house and watch movies or play with her little ones. We would ride country roads with the radio turned way up playing everything from Alabama and Hank, Jr. to Michael Jackson and Prince. (I know, I know but who paid attention to lyrics back then?) We spent many hours at the lake walking the shoreline or through the mounds of leaves that collected in the woods and lonely cabin lots. We also spent a lot of time exploring all the old dirt roads around. Once we found a very old, abandoned church and cemetery. The leaves were knee deep! When we brushed them back from the graves we discovered they dated back to the early 1800's and even earlier. There was even an Indian graveyard nestled further in the woods.

When the days were too cold to do much outside we would curl up and watch football. At halftime he would race to a nearby town to pick up cheeseburgers and fries with ice cream sundaes. I don't think I have had a sundae so good since.

The memories flood over me every year, starting with that first little telltale breeze in the air. I don't know if you get that anywhere but the south or not. It can be a hot day yet there will be a certain feel to the air and a certain crisp smell that alerts you Autumn is on its way. I'm ready for the trees to be dressed in orange, gold and crimson. I'm ready for that October sky. I'm ready for pecans, sweaters, and bonfires.

You know so much of life really is perceptions. Underneath the perceptions is something basic and solid. Just as people's perceptions of the lake didn't alter the fact that it was still the lake, it just changed with the seasons. Life is the same. Whether you are in a valley or on a hilltop it is still the gift of life. Life changes with its own seasons.

It's funny last week I was mistaken for my son's sister. No joke! Anesthesiology thought I was accompanying my younger brother to the pre-op appointment and just brought my baby with me. The FisherMan was with us, too and afterwards kept saying,"And what was I?! The old grandpa you had to bring along 'cause he couldn't be left alone?" LOLOLOL Personally I have decided that if I ever return to the workforce it will be in a hospital because obviously the lighting must be very flattering to my skin tone! Then the day of his surgery, The GuitarMan's pastor came. It so happens that he went to college with us and I taught his son in Pre-K. We haven't seen him in years and he kept trying to pin us down on how old we are because we look so great (ha, that hospital lighting again!) and supposedly we look just as he remembers us. So maybe that helped The FisherMan's feelings! :) Me, I'm thinking he needs to go ahead and start on the gingko for his memory!

Now just to prove my point about perceptions the day I fell and sprained my ankle my girls were at the ER with me.

LadyBug told me later, "Mommy, you know when you were sitting in that wheelchair?"

"Yes, baby,"I replied.

"You looked like a little, old lady."

As of today I have been on crutches since Wednesday night. I can't get around to do anything. Every muscle hurts. It takes all I can do to lug myself to the bathroom. I feel like a not so little, very old lady!

Perceptions. I'm still me whether I look or feel young or old. Life is still life, good days or bad. Sometimes people treat you like Summer and appreciate all you can give. You're beautiful and loved. But when the cold season comes along and they don't like what you offer they are quick to drop you or tell you exactly where you are lacking. Suddenly you are old or ugly and useless. If they don't tell you in cutting words, their looks and aggravated sighs in your direction, or the gossip that makes its way back to you lets you know their opinion.

The best thing to do? Surround yourself with people who love you no matter the season. They can play in the warm sun with you, walk quietly in the cold breeze, or help you find shelter when the bitter cold hits.

I'm blessed. I have those kind of people in my life.

You may have some fair weather people in your life who are only happy if you are doing everything the way they like. They are quick to jump to misunderstandings and read into anything you say or do. If you have no fun to offer they have no use for you. You must be sure to tiptoe on eggshells and provide just the right sunny day for them to enjoy your presence.

Some quick advice. It is a choice to recognize when the enemy seeks to discourage and destroy.

It is also a choice to recognize real Christlike love and surround yourself with people who display it with a helping hand and an open heart. Focus on the relationships that don't revolve around what season of life you are in. They just simply love you, for you.

Peace and blessings to all of you. Thanks for reading here and being an encouragement to me during this stormy season. I love you all!

You're Not Going To Believe This

2009-09-24T10:06:00.002-05:00

Well, I don't know, if you've been reading here lately you just might believe it after all LOL. Our latest saga is my injury of all things.

Yesterday we had a death in the church and the family lives just down the road. So we went down there before church last night to check on them and just sit with them for a while. When we came down the back steps to leave I slipped on the last step and hurt my ankle. Oh, my did I ever hurt my ankle! I felt a popping, crunching sensation as it gave. Immediately I started feeling as though I was going to black out. From there the nausea set in. Oh, it was just awful, I just knew I had broken it. Between the pain, this horrible feeling of knowing I am too needed to be incapacitated right now, and just wondering how we are going to handle this latest hit, I was so upset! I don't usually let anyone see me fall apart but I did have my moment initially. Thank you, Peaceful Lives, for letting me literally borrow your shoulder. :)

We had to run by the church to let them know what had happened as the congregation was sitting there wondering where their pastor was! Then we had to run over to the house to let the GuitarMan know what had happened as the cell phone had no signal, arghh. Several church members came right on over to see if they could help. On top of everything, yesterday was LadyBug's birthday and they had planned a little surprise party for her at church! It was so sweet they had balloons, party hats, cake and refreshments, presents. And here I was, couldn't even get out of the vehicle, wondering and hurting, the girls started crying because they wanted to go to the hospital. I could hear them in the house crying, which was just breaking my heart. I felt so bad, just so stupid for missing the edge of the step, of all things!

So, anyway we headed to the hospital. My mom brought the children because they got so upset. The GuitarMan insisted on coming, too. When we got there I realized that one of the ladies from church had come, too to help out. It was so sweet. She also had come and sat with us the whole time The GuitarMan was in surgery. That meant so much to us.

I guess you'd like me to tell you what the x-rays said. Sorry, the woman in me had to share the details. :)

The Er doc said it isn't broken but it is a very severe sprain. Y'all, never again will I say "just a sprain" as though it is no big deal. I was hoping for "just a sprain" so far as hoping it would not be an injury involving numerous doctor visits and/or surgery since we are dealing with enough of that already. So I am thankful in that sense, for sure. I had no idea that a sprain could give this much trouble. I am on crutches as I can't bear any weight on my ankle. Fun, fun.

I really don't want to ask "what else, Lord" as it might be even worse, ha! and I just don't even have it in me to ask "why me, Lord". Instead I am trying to remember that with everything we have had happen lately there are blessings present too. So for now I am going to keep icing my foot, take another pain pill, and try not to dwell on the whole "what are we going to do?" scenario. Keep on praying for us, please. Sorry to keep taking up a larger and larger chunk of your prayer time LOL.

Yep, just can't believe this.

Not So Good Day

2009-09-22T20:45:00.002-05:00

Just a quick update. The GuitarMan has had a rough day with a lot of pain. They did a block yesterday so that when he woke up from surgery his hand was numb. It wore off about 4:00 am and he has struggled since.

On top of that we found out today that there may be big problems now with school because of too many absences since the accident. I talked with the registrar's office today and tomorrow I have to talk with the business office, his professors and the vice-president of the college. Poor thing will be totally at their mercy as far as passing, staying in school or returning next semester, and holding onto his financial aid.

Just something else to add to the stress in my life lately. As much as I love to blog, y'all don't know the half of it! :)

But we are rejoicing that the surgery went well. We are praying for quick healing and a full recovery. We are clinging to the fact that God is in control of all matters. He sees the full picture and knows exactly what we need and when we need it. (This, despite our own inclinations to find immediate rescue and relief!) When we come out on the other side of trials, we will find our spiritual muscles strengthened and our faith proven true. Thank you for lifting our family up in prayer!

Surgery Day is Over!

2009-09-21T22:26:00.002-05:00

Well, the surgery was completed and The GuitarMan did well. The doctor was able to pin it rather than anything more invasive as he had expected. The GuitarMan handled the anesthesia great (other than some temporary loony behavior when he was given the initial shot LOL). He had no problems with breathing, waking up or nausea. He did experience some extreme irritability for the first 1-2 hours but the nurse said that is normal for guys his age. She said girls that age tend to cry. He has had some throbbing pain at times but the pain medicine is working very well. In fact, he is more comfortable now that the bone has been fixed properly. Now we will just see if he can sleep tonight. All that medicine and sleep today has him wide awake tonight!

Thank you so much for your prayers!!

Sometimes There's Just No End in Sight

2009-09-20T22:18:00.003-05:00

Do you ever notice that when things in life just keep hitting you over and over you just get plain tired? That's when you think, "What else could possibly happen?" "I don't think I could take anything else!" or something of that sort. That seems to be when old Satan himself shows up ready to help you answer those questions and try your patience even more. He will use any means to get to you and tear you down. It beats you down and discourages you even more. That is usually when the "Why me, Lord?" question arises.

But God is faithful! He uses life's circumstances to nudge us this way and that. We stretch and we grow. Sometimes we take one step forward and two steps back. But, still, He is there, seeing us through the bad times and using them for our good. Wow, it can be hard to figure out sometimes how any good could possibly come from some circumstances.

When attacks come from all sides and we feel alone, it is a reminder that feelings aren't always truth. We have to be careful about that. The same is true with good feelings. Just because something feels right doesn't mean it is right. So we need to learn to look past our feelings, look past our circumstances and see our heavenly Father. He is there even in those times we also don't feel His presence. We are loved by Him even when we don't feel especially treasured.

Feelings change and waver. Circumstances can change in an instant. His truth stands strong. Take heart and take comfort in His promises. If you are having a rough time right now Psalms is a good place to start to find that comfort. Take some time to get alone with the Lord and receive the renewing that only He can provide.

Bad News

2009-09-18T20:59:00.002-05:00

Well, we finally got home tonight after being in doctor's offices and the hospital all day. It is official now. The GuitarMan is scheduled for surgery Monday morning. The reason his finger has not healed as well as the other breaks is because the break was much worse than the other doctor first diagnosed. Now he has also had 3 weeks of healing already so that will complicate things. At this point the doctor is not sure how invasive the surgery will be. But it will be involved either way and The GuitarMan will be under general anesthesia. He may also face a second surgery. The rehab is going to very aggressive, even more so than what he has been doing.

It's been a very rough day and I am exhausted. We have a housefull of college kids tonight spending the night. I think it is good for The GuitarMan though to help him keep his mind off of everything. I am thankful he has friends who care.

Please keep praying. This is going to be a long road.

Makes ya think

2009-09-17T23:20:00.002-05:00

Message on a church sign we passed today:

Eternity: Long time if you're wrong

Update on GuitarMan

2009-09-17T17:34:00.002-05:00

We had to see our doctor today for a yearly checkup on one of the children. When he found out what had happened to GuitarMan, what is going on with his hand, and how long it will be before he can be seen due to the doctor's mission trip, he was very concerned. He feels time is of the essence and he needs to be examined again. He has made an appt with another orthopaedic surgeon for first thing in the morning. So we have to be there at 8:00 am when they open. Please pray for his nerves, (he was a little freaked out when I told him they said nothing to eat or drink past midnight. "What are they planning on doing to me?!" he said.), his pain level, (lots of swelling and bruising still), wisdom and skill for the doctors. I know I keep repeating please pray for him but he is still my baby even at 19 and who better to petition than the Great Physician? I appreciate it so much!!

A Friendly Wave Over the Fence!

2009-09-16T09:58:00.003-05:00

Just popping in to say hello. Life is bumping along busily here. Children, grocery shopping, snotty noses, soccer games, picnics, homeschool, exploring. Just life. :)

Need y'all to continue praying for The GuitarMan. He is continuing with therapy but his index finger is still giving him extra problems. His doctor is out of the country on a mission trip. They have moved his next appt up so that he will be seen as soon as the doctor gets back. We are hoping that the therapy will resolve things before then though and we know for a fact that above all, God can heal! No matter what He is the ultimate one in control.

I'll be back on later to do a real post, or try at least LOL. Enjoy your day today. Don't waste it on bad feelings, anger, jealousy, resentment or unthankfulness. You never know, these may be "the good ole days" you look back on one day. It would be a pity to not make the most of your blessings!